Showing posts with label alone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label alone. Show all posts

Feb 14, 2018

At last.. Victory means Validation!

I had an appointment today with the clinical psychologist who serves as the director of Harborview Mental Health & Recovery Services. He said yes, approximately 1 in 50 are in fact considered good candidates for self medicating ADD diagnosis instead of considered meth addicts. Having no criminal record nor history of emergency room visits due to overdosing, the fact I'm 42 with all my teeth and don't look like the typical user and maintain a perfectly reasonable cognitive level and regular meal & rest schedule makes me a candidate. I was right! I didn't give up on myself because I knew there was a better option than absolute abstinence until eventual frustrating relapse occurrence when I would finally decide that my will was to do the things I am capable of instead of be a helpless spectator. Neither were good for my self esteem but I determined I was happier when I am productive and would just have to accept the loneliness as drug use is a relationship deal breaker says everyone including people who are bipolar, alcoholics, Ducati addicts without internal organs from racing wrecks.. whatever! Everyone thinks they are the exception to being able to judge poor impulse control behavior and it's impossible for someone under demon drug possession to carefully assess their own situation to come to an unpopular conclusion that might actually be true and 100% valid. To all the haters and the ex who conveniently used the excuse instead of admitting to his serial situation:


Dec 11, 2016

Surrounded by Angry Ghosts

It's one thing to ignore the person who only texts late when they're drunk & horny and never early to invite you to drink.. but this ghosting thing is so hurtful, disrespectful, and damaging!! After spending a significant amount of time with a person and by that I mean simply more than one occasion, it's simply not okay to quit people like they're a job you think hasn't paid enough or you got a better offer so skip out without telling them you believe you're worth more. People who care about you will worry that you're hurt or in trouble!! People who care about you deserve a conversation; an opportunity to make a counter offer to show they appreciate you more than you thought, or to change the current state of affairs to a new understanding, a compromise if you will that acknowledges the fact that they are a person who you shared a bond with that needs to change for your own happiness but perhaps the bond will turn into a sustainable friendship in the long run instead of a disconnecting slash to an wounded and covered in blood kind person who did nothing wrong but try to find a connection.

People can change, y'all. If we keep severing each other for having a bad day and feeling week and needy while someone else exudes sexy confidence that day and we can't feel both at once so cut the lesser out.. we'll all have absolutely no one and all be so sensitive and slaughtered that no one will ever accept us because the effect is cumulative and none of us deserved to be abandoned for wanting love!!!

Dialogue be damned

Whenever I reflect upon my short comings, paranoid thinking due to incidents of abuse in my formative years that shattered my trust, and the...