I'm not privileged

Wow! That made me tear up a bit. I feel privileged. I'm a spoiled white girl who grew up in the suburbs and still gets help from her parents. But as a female who's been raped, grew up pagan in the bible belt, battled with addiction, worked in the service industry my whole adulthood, I'm not a an utter over privileged spoiled fucking brat! How about that...

 Know Thyself! ~

You live with 28 out of 100 points of privilege.

1. 

   You’re not privileged at all. You grew up with an intersectional, complicated identity, and life never let you forget it. You’ve had your fair share of struggles, and you’ve worked hard to overcome them. We do not live in an ideal world and you had to learn that the hard way. It is not your responsibility to educate those with more advantages than you, but if you decide you want to, go ahead and send them this quiz. Hopefully it will help.

How Privileged Are You?

http://www.buzzfeed.com/regajha/how-privileged-...Check(list) your privilege.

OutLaw on Burning Man and What it's Become

I'm so sick of hearing about Burning Man!

It went from this (SF beach)..

I wish the LLC, whom everyone refers to as "Burning Man Org" which seems to be a derogatory term as far as I've seen.. had just cancelled it and retired with the copyrights still in their possession! So bad.. seriously! Then Burning Man could finally be an era we all look back on fondly in our memory and become stories we tell to our kids whenever they beg us to go to raves or whatever the kids are into these days.. Instead of being considered a community that has the right to decide for itself what to do with itself because the community has become a bunch of whiny lame ass self righteous dissenters who only want to talk shit about everyone and everything and not give any credit whatsoever to the people who worked their asses off half their life putting on the ONE THING IN THE WORLD THAT TRULY CHANGED THEIR LIVES forever.

To this (Black Rock Desert)..

But NO. I now have to listen to them whine about not getting tickets. Hear them boast about scoring tickets. See them beg and beg and beg for tickets for the next five fucking months escalating into a massive crescendo that will completely occupy my Facebook feed come the end of August and still not quit because they can post of Facebook from the goddamn playa now!? See! Even I who always stand up for the LLC/org members who are or were people I once considered close personal friends in addition to co-workers, have become a voice of dissent! Only difference between me and all the others I'm referring to is I hate burners instead of being a burner who hates the org. Actually the only difference between me and any of them is likely only in my eyes.. moment of clarity, eh? I'll readily admit when I'm wrong.. wish I could say the same for burners!

To this! (Black Rock City)

The difference between me and the dissenters is I ACTUALLY HAVE FIRST PERSON KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERIENCE TO BACK MY OPINION opposed to hearing some dude that managed to become a famous dissenter (ie. Chicken John) ex burner who has now moved on with his life but not before raising a whole lotta hell scrutinizing the way the org ran things and claiming all the while to be one of the "original burners" which is simply not true as his claim some kind of authority that gave him the right to an opinion. (edit: actually he was around in the first days on the playa apparently according to the article I sighted but then again it could just be him talking big as many burners are known to do) Always about the damn community.. The truth is I guess it has to be because I know from direct experience as a DPW Project Manager for 6 years no one can accomplish anything in the desert alone! It was only by being a team player I was able to rise to such ranks as I did and was able to lead my crew like a team thus creating a small exclusive community or rather "the winners" of such things as racing Tony's (Perez aka Coyote.. current Head of DPW) crew in completing our half of the city's intersection's in t-staking and installing street signs.. The original "burners" or community members back when it was on the beach in San Francisco is the majority of what was once called the Org and they have done the BEST they can with everything they were thrown! Here's a good fair article on Burning Man's History including sentiments of John Law who I hung out with on the playa one 4th of July weekend and agree he's crazy (as the anti-Law camp says) but also very knowledgeable of the terrain of the Black Rock Desert. He was on a mission to shoot out propane tanks though btw.. which is illegal and enforced by the BLM making my opinion of him as equally respectable as Danger Ranger an antithesis because such is the nature of a "radical self reliant" philosophy.

And from this..

The fact of the matter is that Burning Man is just TOO BIG!! Everyone use to be mad at how much they have to pay to go to it but what they didn't realize is how expensive to was/or is to put on! Of course now there's at least 10 thousand burners who want to go and are willing to pay as much as they ask but can't because it's TOO BIG so now they're all dissenters because they didn't win the (literal) lottery to have an opportunity to buy a ticket!? Then there's the burners who can't afford a ticket if they won the lottery (like me) talking shit about how those who can are selling out to the Man and the greedy LLC who's retiring soon and turning it over to most likely people who were dissenters for a long while and now are going to become exactly who they hated and make the exact same decisions once they understand the situation surrounding the decisions and the fact that the options are always either not have the event or the other option and they will grow to hate and blame the BLM as much as we did who is just a federal "org" put in charge of managing land that nobody wants because there's nothing productive to be done with it other than throw a big party on it and establish a temporary city that packs up and leaves because no one really wants to live there all year.

To this!

I wish I didn't have to have these conversations or write these blogs every year! It just makes me so mad all the things I have to hear that are simply uneducated inexperienced opinions and opinions are like assholes ~ they stink! Everyone should just get together with their own damn friends, get a permit, and go build and burn their own damn man and see what happens then!

Build your own damn man!

Totem Poll

What Totem Animal Are You?

For 58 % you are: You are...A WOLF! Your utmost priority is leadership and kindness. You make friends easily and steadily, learn quickly, and care about others, hurting as much as they do when they're having a hard time.
% of Quiz participants had this profile!

You could also get this result:
For 21 % you are: You are...AN EAGLE! You're serious, concentrated, calculating, and judging. You are a natural born leader, and can be compassionate towards close friends. You may come off rather bossy to some.

Or even this one:
For 21 % you are: You are...A DEER! You're artistic, creative, very compassionate, gentle, and kind. You like to delve into very complicated artistic activities such as drawing, sketching, or playing music. You're always there when a friend needs you.

Free Numerology Reading: Life Path #11

You are what is known as a master number. The number 11 is the symbol of the spiritual seeker. Your purpose in this life time is to achieve enlightenment. Sometimes this is done by finding a teacher and other times it is a matter of experiencing an number of negative situations that are designed to rid you of toxic emotional connections and clear your karma. If you are a number eleven and seem to be having a rough time then keep in mind that is typical of your number to experience a life filled with mysterious losses and either very fortunate or unfortunate twists of fate.


Part of your trying experiences is the cosmos' way of pushing you into finding the spiritual awareness that you need to elevate your soul. The number 11 path is often called the Path of Extremist simply because you lead a life filled with so many highs and lows. You are often like two people. One life is your public life in which you might appear as an eccentric or unusual character and the other is your secret life, which is obsessed with finding the answers to eternal questions.

You are probably a fairly well educated person who is still looking for answers when it comes to spirituality. One of the character traits of a number 11 is to look far and wide for lofty spiritual answers when often the answer is right underneath your nose. As number 11's can be quite snobbish or proud of their status as a spiritual seeker the universe often presents them with many lessons that serve to challenge their pride.

You probably don't fit into society very well and have to do a lot of pretending and acting to survive in a normal job or relationship. You have unusual tastes and may have a bohemian character that is very interested in the new and avant-garde. Your broad-minded point of view and permissiveness with morals makes you lots of enemies and friends alike.

If there is one thing that your friends find frustrating about you it is that you are a bit of a fence sitter. Your ability to see so many angles of a situation often causes you to be indecisive or not to act at all. For this reason many 11's often let opportunities in life pass them by. They are so focused on being visionaries that they forget to pay attention to small practical details.

Your sharp intuition and rich understanding of both spirituality and human nature makes you the perfect spiritual counselor. Even if this is not your profession you have probably noticed that others naturally seek out your guidance and advice during a crisis.

You are a very idealistic individual and envision a world in which everyone is equal. For this reason you somewhat dislike the idea of relationships as they mean that one human should be more exclusive to you than another. One of your highest spiritual qualities is to make everyone that you meet feel like they are special and a soul mate.

If you are an 11, it is also typical for the needs of your personality to be in constant conflict with the direction of your higher self. You have probably noticed that you get away with a lot less than other numbers. For instance if you do a bad deed, the resulting bad karma seems more immediate. This is because your path is a path of retribution that is about the negation of the self to allow the higher self to be divinely inspired by a higher power.

empath 101

You Scored as Certified Empath You are a natural born Empath! You are haunted by the calling of "the others" and walk in silence between the busy and the distracted. You qualify for certification by the School of Empath Psychology. From the Book of Storms Series newsletter on Yahoo! Groups. An Intuitive 94% Potential Empath 88% Unbonded Empath 75% Not an Empath 31%

You Scored as Judge You are a Judge Empath, one who is a "truthsayer". You can tell truth from lies, good from evil. You do not tolerate wrong doing. You are a defender of the good and the innocent. You are kind and merciful but do not play foolish games. (from "The Book of Storms" by Jad Alexander at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Empaths/) Traveler 100% Judge 100% Shaman 90% Artist 90% Universal 85% Healer 85% Precog 75% Fallen Angel 60%

jumat pon pom

Hello Asraiya, date of birth entered by you is February 13, 1976 based on which your Indonesian Astrology (Weton) Day is as below.

Indonesian Day Sign: Pon


Indonesian Weekday: Jumat


English Weekday: Friday


According to the myth of Javanese astrology, Jumat Pon people require a wide friend circle to keep them entertained and busy at all times. You are reserved, quiet and a calm person. Honesty and purity are something that you value a lot and expect the same from others around you. You are adjustable and adaptable but very easily influenced by the sentiments and emotions of others.

Hmm.. k sure

Know Thyself!

wow ~ this is the most in depth personality analysis I've ever been presented with on me, myself, & I! it's a free career assessment test that's surprisingly easy yet seems to get randomly get to your core values save to its randomness... perhaps? here take it ~ http://www.assessment.com

heheh.. no but seriously, it has got me nailed! check out the obvious as well as the deeper complexities I was less aware would be so obvious from a 71 multiple choice questioned exam:

• Heather (my legal name btw) can actually experience a certain kind of mental claustrophobia that may have adverse effects activity.
• Math may be about the same as a foreign language for Heather. At least, it is foreign to Heather's mental preferences in one-way or another. Mathematical problems seem to become bigger problems if Heather tries to solve them. (ha! no kidding..)
  
• Heather is motivated to influence and convince others as part of social, organizational, vocational, or recreational activities. A motivation exists to speak up when there is reason, occasion, or opportunity to sway others to Heather's ideas or way of thinking.  
• Heather is empathetically and sympathetically aware of the hurts, needs, problems, and wishes of others and is motivated to help whenever possible. There is inclination and willingness to get personally involved in the personal lives of others in order to help with one's talents and resources.
• Heather looks for new options, challenges, assignments, acquaintances, relationships, and even new careers in new places as she tires of repetition. Even activities that were interesting at the start once they become routine (Ooo! look.. shiny) Heather finds a motivation to move on to new other things.
• Heather is motivated to work on projects that are planned, scheduled, and completed. This indicates a preference to complete a project rather than leave it unfinished. But completion or achievement may be offset by switching to a project of higher priority and/or interest, with the hope that the uncompleted project may be done another day. What is not completed will probably be kept in mind until it is completed. (unfortunately..)
• Motivational levels are highest for Heather when in the limelight where recognition is earned, deserved, or given. However, there is no "ego trip" involved in the effort. Heather can comfortably function in the foreground or the background. Nonetheless, recognition is motivational.
• Heather is conscious of existence, meaning, purpose, potential and destiny of humankind, people, and self. Heather is motivated by a self-felt, self-accepted calling to the cause of good, growth, and gain in the lives of others.  Perception and thinking tend to be holistic and conceptual; i.e., seeing the big picture. 
• Heather's preferences fully support holistic, conceptual perception, and thinking relative to the basic nature, utility, potential, or strategic possibility of what is being observed or considered. This includes intuition, insight, creativity, curiosity, experimentation, and innovation in various degrees. 
• Heather's motivations are heightened significantly by persuasive, gregarious, auditory-musical, visual-artistic, and communicative traits to entertain others with intent to convince them toward a particular idea, viewpoint, direction, objective, or product. A high level of motivation exists because there is an element of risk involved where the effort has a goal tied to the end of the act.  
• Heather has intuition and philosophical curiosity that causes an awareness of personality, intentions, emotions, ethics, values, and moods of other persons, and of self.
• If it has philosophical or benevolent objectives, it will be a soft-sell. But if Heather is defending and/or championing the cause of the underdog or the less fortunate, then it will seem as if some modern-day Don Quixote and/or Joan of Arc are doing the persuading. (my voices were right!)
• Heather has motivational levels that support operating heavy, mobile equipment such as trucks, earth-movers, cranes, etc. (meh.. it's just job but I like driving me some heavy machinery!)
• Heather is strongly motivated to coordinate: to take actions, to manipulate that which is at hand in order to "get the show on the road."
• Heather applies scientific/technical/logical thinking (to the fullest extent this ability exists) to identify, analyze, and solve challenges and/or problems; to collect data, establish facts, connect abstract and concrete variables, draw valid conclusions, determine appropriate action, devise strategies and systems to achieve objectives. (woah.. that's some potential, huh?)
• Heather does not prefer activities requiring verbatim perception, recording, and/or processing of details, especially where numbers are involved. Heather may simply lack interest or the motivation to express self vocationally through the use of basic math skills while possibly quite capable. (just do we're clear.. heh)

psych! oh..

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Big Five Word Test Results

Extroversion (87%) very high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity. Accommodation (47%) medium which suggests you are moderately kind natured, trusting, and helpful while still maintaining your own interests. Orderliness (50%) medium which suggests you are moderately organized, structured, and self controlled while still remaining flexible, varied, and fun. Emotional Stability (50%) medium which suggests you are moderately relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic. Inquisitiveness (58%) moderately high which suggests you are intellectual, curious, imaginative but possibly not very practical.

Take Free Big Five Word Choice Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid |||||||||||| 42% Schizoid |||||||||| 34% Schizotypal |||||||||||||||||||| 82% Antisocial |||||||||||||| 54% Borderline |||||||||||| 50% Histrionic |||||||||||||| 54% Narcissistic |||||||||||||||| 62% Avoidant |||||||||| 34% Dependent |||||||||| 34% Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||| 50%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

My Jung/Myers-Biggs personality type ~ENFP:
outgoing, social, disorganized, easily talked into doing silly things, spontaneous, wild and crazy, acts without thinking, good at getting people to have fun, pleasure seeking, irresponsible, physically affectionate, risk taker, thrill seeker, likely to have or want a tattoo, adventurous, unprepared, attention seeking, hyperactive, irrational, loves crowds, rule breaker, prone to losing things, seductive, easily distracted, open, revealing, comfortable in unfamiliar situations, attracted to strange things, non punctual, likes to stand out, likes to try new things, fun seeker, unconventional, energetic, impulsive, empathetic, dangerous, loving, attachment prone, prone to fantasy

favored careers:
performer, actor, entertainer, songwriter, musician, filmmaker, comedian, radio broadcaster/dj, some job related to theater/drama, poet, music journalist, work in fashion industry, singer, movie producer, playwright, bartender, comic book author, work in television, dancer, artist, record store owner, model, freelance artist, teacher (art, drama, music), writer, painter, massage therapist, costume designer, choreographer, make up artist

disfavored careers:
data analyst, scientist, researcher, financial adviser, business analyst, govt employee, office manager, mathematician, investment banker, office worker, computer tech, it professional, network engineer, strategist




tests from http://www.similarminds.com/personality_tests.html

Pluto = Kether

Your result for What Planet are You From? Test...

You are from Pluto!

33% Pluto

Well, well.  So you are from Pluto, eh?  I’m not surprised at all. 

Pluto was once considered to be a cold and distant planet and the furthest away from the sun.  Now it is one of the dwarf planets in our solar system.  It was discovered in 1930, and has been quite an enigma.

It’s named after the Roman god Pluto who was originally the god of metals and then also took on the role of god of the underworld.  He had a way of digging things up and bringing them out to the open.  If he was an alien on the planet I’m sure he became quite popular and perhaps even a little bit scary.

But what does this mean about you? 

Well, first off it means that you don’t like secrets.  You will dig until you get to the truth, even if it means that you have to stir things up a bit in order to do it.  You would probably make a great detective.  You tend to notice things around you.

You have a life altering personality about you.  If things aren’t going well you have no trouble pulling out what you think is bad and rebuilding.  You could probably go somewhere totally new and be able to make a new life for yourself without the same problems other people might have.  You have a strong will and are very motivated.

My only hope is that you don’t try to take over the world.  It would never be the same again.  But, on the other hand, maybe that’s not such a bad thing after all.

Take What Planet are You From? Test at OkCupid