Dec 19, 2017

Follow the White Rabbit

“When I used to read fairy tales, I fancied that kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one!”

Off with her head!

Oct 31, 2017

How to go from Green to Brown Hair in 20 min!

I absolutely LOVE wearing any shade of aqua, turquoise, and/or dark teal green hair!! For the photo above, I did a few bleach washes to get to an light orange color and used Manic Panic Voodoo Blue. But I was a little low on funds and accepted a Shiftgig freelance shift for a Microsoft event at the Convention Center without even thinking about the possibility of a dress code. The night before I worked and went to look over the event details to prepare to be in uniform (black collared shirt & black slacks ~ no visible tattoos and only natural colored hair!?) Uh oh 😱

So I got up plenty early that morning and ran to the drug store in search of a red temporary hair color to cover up & counter balance the green. I was hoping for one of those “shampoo in” colors that last until the next time you wash your hair varieties almost like the halloween hair spray crap but they only had it in brown which won’t work at all and only make the green a darker forest green so I had to buy a semi-permanent Colorista red which is going to stick around a couple weeks at least, in fact I think I’ll have to start over with a bleach shampoo if I want my green back but we’ll see...

20-30 min later I have a boring basic reddish dark brown and they never knew how close I was to showing up all to get sent back home with negative marks on my future shift eligibility. It 100% worked and the secret is using a true red (not mahogany brown but straight primary colored red) and it turns a nice warm brown easy as pie.

Cheers ~ Asraiya

Oct 4, 2017

On Reason, Rational Thought, and the Nature of Reality

There has always been an invisible or exceptionally blurry fine line between reality and accepted religious convictions. This is why the founding fathers of this country, in their most insightful intelligence, declared a separation between church and state so that the two could be free to exist autonomously. Opinions do not get to convict and subsequently condemn members of a free will society to death for each individual’s own right to govern their own bodies and make their own decisions according to what they think or feel is right for them at any given time. Cells growing inside a person’s body can be called a virus or a bacteria, normal or cancerous, good or bad, life form or parasite. We do not have proof that a tumor has intelligence, consciousness, or a soul, however we do have proof that they drastically alter the potential course of a person’s life and we are often able to change it provided the person is willing to voluntarily poison themselves to just short of the brink of death. Liberals think the option should exist for every individual while conservatives say they shouldn’t be taxed to pay for it. Religious scripture says “love thy neighbor as thy brother” while the distorted human interpretation of this same document says that their neighbor should have to suffer with the results of their actions while declaring themselves forgiven for being imperfect in thought and action. Thankfully we have a system in place of checks and balances to prevent any one individual’s adopted philosophical or religious opinion with which they choose to govern their own life has final say over another individual from getting to make their own choice regardless of the possible fallacy of human belief or perception.

So too until recently has there been a division when it comes to the results of what’s known as the scientific method that’s used to test what we think we know and refer to as “reality”. Physics has now proven that this notion of reality and the concept known as time is both relatively universal and strictly a matter of perception. By this now known fact I propose we suspend our disbeliefs and relinquish our capacity to determine what is crazy thought and behavior compared to what is correct perception and adhered to rationalization. For we can not know the difference between what the organs of our bodies perceive from person to person nor follow the train of thought from this sensory input in the computational organ called the brain of each other to come to a definitive final conclusion of them. Get over it! Quit calling people crazy and collectively ostracizing them for it because crazy people make crazy people act crazy and everyone suffers from these consequences in the end. 

Love one another with burning hearts! Respect autonomy and free will or you will be damned to pay the price of losing it and nobody wants that, yeah? Just do it then. K. Peace

Sep 30, 2017

MK Ultra and recreational drug use

And suddenly it seems so obvious after a conversation with my doctor about why I refuse to consider taking a low dose anti-psychotic before sleep. Anti-psychotic is an inaccurate term though if a person is having racing thoughts that are delusional it will make them stop but what the drugs are really neuro-tranquilizers. All recreational drug use has entered our society as a result of the MK Ultra mind control experiments. Ketamine, sometimes called kitty tranq and the K-hole when you fall into a deep fugue and don’t remember what happened to you is a prime example of this being true. If you had no skills in hypnosis and wanted to experiment with embedding something deep into a person’s subconscious, the use of a tranquilizer would be the obvious method. LSD is certainly a reality lubricant but it is too creative and complex and unpredictable where a person’s mind will go on it and can not be easily influenced nor accurately predicted what final new concept will be adopted by the psyche or composted and left. Meth amphetamine, a neuro-stimulant, was first used to make soldiers hyper-vigilant so it’s easy to see why a victim would be psychologically addicted to using it in an attempt of self defending their fragile but naturally self reorganizing mind from outside influence. I’ll modify that statement of “all” drugs because marijuana and heroin have been around much longer than these other designer chemicals and have some valid medical use in addition to the relaxing or numbing effects, the latter one being of a death wish whether the pain is real or inflicted by outside stimulus and of physical or mental/moral/emotional nature seems to matter not in the slightest. I only know that anything that makes me feel unglued to my body is not of any interest to me personally and this is why I’ve always refused to adopt the blanket notion of being an “addict”. I have perfect control over my alcohol consumption within reason meaning no one has control after a certain amount of consumption but that is precisely the state I avoid because of accidental alters stepping in to navigate them.

Sep 28, 2017

Mind Control Experiments 

All alien abductions, all satanic sex cults, and all flat earther states of psychosis are both real and not in the slightest because they are cover stories for the same secret program of mind control experiments started in the 70’s and surely is not still happening... Fact. Just be aware and don’t hurt these people more than they’ve already been abused & look for what’s real in them & ignore their delusion. Never been their fault at all so they need real friends & to be seen as a real person and not a mental head case that’s lost. This is all I know for now.

Sep 11, 2017

Mr. Big

I'm shocked and appalled at what I now see as the Big picture of how law enforcement goes about making assumptions and then vainly isn't capable of admitting when they're wrong. 

It's understandable to every American worker who's been say a project manager, the notion of spending huge amounts of company dollars, in this case tax payer money.. on a project that is not going to meet deadline nor ever have something to show for it. That is a tremendous amount of work stress and we all can see how a person could become offensive when faced with their own job/livelihood or an invested in suspect's to be adamant in pursuit of conviction, but that doesn't make it justice! In fact, that's so far from justice that it shouldn't even be legal: Professionally trained in psychological mind control tactics federal undercover agents presenting as scary ass mobsters with guns to sheltered teenagers who have seen enough movies to go along with whatever is necessary to stay on Mr. Big's good side because we all know (in the make believe movie Al Pacino world) what happens if you piss a mob boss off!

I just watched a Netflix documentary called The Confession Tapes. It's about two teenage boys who came back home to Bellevue after a night spent on the town in Seattle, or well sorta since they weren't 21 they ended up at Hurricane like we all did.. to find a horrific murder of one of their parents and sister. The police instantly made them the prime suspects and ignored other evidence of a Muslim extremist group hit put on this family. There's nothing reasonable about the boys behavior because there shouldn't be such thing as a reasonable expected behavior for anyone who's been through such trauma! The RCMP (the boys & family were all from Canada and only recently moved to Bellevue and the boys were on summer break from college visiting) went undercover as mobsters to coerce a confession from them which viewed in the right context is obviously incorrect and implausible.. stuff like "we threw the evidence out the window, idk fuck."

Here's the interesting part I'm going to add: The documentary goes to great lengths to claim that this method or tactic of undercover police work referred to as "Mr. Big" is illegal and not used in the US. I've met a Mr. Big twice in my life and the first time I was a teenager only 16 years old and Mr. Big forced me to do a line of cocaine to prove that I was "cool" or not a "narc". I had a rule back then that I will try or experiment with any drug (pot, acid, mushrooms) EXCEPT heroin or cocaine (hadn't heard of meth yet or it would be on the list too). At first I said "no" but there were guns laying on the table or on these guys belts because of course they were cops!! I'd never been around guns growing up so I WAS SCARED. I did my first line of cocaine, breaking my own intelligently set and decided upon rules, at 16 yo at the hand of people who are being paid tax dollars to serve & protect me all to not blow their cover. When you're a teenager these lines drawn in the sand are fundamental to how you see yourself as a person. The difference between a good girl and a slut drawn at your waistline cuz 2nd base is fine but not 3rd. At 16 already breaking my own rule proved to be a lifelong detrimental occurrence when I got to 23 and faced once again the decision to do or not to do hard drugs. I'm lucky though because I've only spent 24 hours in jail unlike the boys who are the exact same age as I. 1995 was also my first year in college and treading the weird world of being an adult that I still haven't quite figured out... 

What's normal when there's people out to get you as if you're always at war with the cops or the system and minding your defense despite being a good person without wrongful intent?

The 2nd time in my life I met a Mr. Big in the US of A you can read about here in this article in The Stranger by Brendan Kiley called The Long Con.

Atif Rafay and Sebastian Burns were convicted based on their coerced confessions to the undercover Mr. Big mafioso new friend who forced himself on them and right off the bat started systematically working to convince them that admitting to a crime of murder would make them loyal and trustworthy to him. They are both serving triple consecutive sentences of life without parole for a the murder of Atif's entire family. Is there anything more contrary or precisely the exact opposite of JUSTICE? I truly think not. They have been put into solitary confinement. I and my friend Rick have been investigated for terrorism, not the Muslim extremist organizations!! I, nor they, nor Rick have ever done anything wrong but go about our lives doing the best that we could with whatever may confront us. I'm a little broken though inside and out. 😢💔👨🏼‍✈️👏🏻😳

Jul 27, 2017

Socialism v. Liberalism v. Conservative Capitalist

I've just had the delight of re-encountering this thread, from many years ago, when looking into further issues around this same question. My thanks to all who have contributed their fascinating answers. It is particularly noteworthy how different are the European and American perspectives on these terms. If I may, I'll share with you my own further conclusions on simple but distinctive definitions. Conservatives believe in inequality of opportunity and inequality of outcome. Liberals believe in equality of opportunity and inequality of outcome. Socialists believe in inequality of opportunity and equality of outcome.

Glenn Oliver, Ashbourne, UK

If truly it can be summed up, as Glenn above presents, in measures of equality in opportunity and the resulting outcomes of each then we must be clear to define what allows for equal opportunity and what inhibits potential outcomes of equal effort. If you went to school for 17 years completing a program with a 3.6 that suites your personal interests and utilizes your strengths and so did everyone else who now works 40 hours a week, should you be paid according to your level of authority or your level of necessity? Who gets to determine such things? Conservatives say government should not regulate industry which means the decision falls to those in authority and this obviously brings about inequality. Liberals take liberty in governing such things as a Democracy states they are representatives of the people who the majority of which are underpaid drastically compared to the CEO of the business that employs them. This brings us to measures of opportunity which are first and foremost concerned with our basic human needs for survival and then navigating the economic possibilities: food, water, shelter, medicine aka healthcare must readily be available for an equal survival rate and before such system is in place liberals will fight for this level of socialism because the current conservative state of affairs has people and their children dying without any opportunity to escape their fate because they do not make enough money to meet their needs no matter how much effort they're willing to contribute. This is where liberal programs such as food stamps come in because the thought is if they aren't starving then they will continue to go to work so that the fat CEO can continue to make millions. If we have no workers, we have no rich authority. If we have no tax payers, we have no government salaries. Here is where the line is drawn between political parties and the terms liberalism v. socialism because the conservatives claim that liberals only seek to sustain the democracy which gives them authority and not to offer equal opportunity to the people who elect them as representatives. Conservatives want everyone to pay equal taxes despite the fact that some can't afford food and shelter while some can buy several apartment buildings and throw banquet parties to show off how much money they make. If you own a building instead of have to pay rent it's easy to say that someone on food stamps should get a job and quit being lazy because you're able to make money doing nothing and meanwhile everyone working 40 hours a week agrees with you despite being in debt for their home, education, car, and complains of too high insurance premiums. They believe they are conservative and that liberals are trying to take away their fundamental needs in the form of taxes for programs to help minorities but this is a lie! A true government of the people, for the people, and by the people is going to take liberties towards socialism in order to provide equal opportunity for every citizen. Communism opposed to liberalism would go a further step and forcibly instill a system of equal pay and has a bad reputation because of the required use of force and suppression of opinion to see such a thing put in place and not because of it's intended social outcome. We know now that this kind of force can be terrible and lead to a fascist oligarchy. This is not liberalism within the confines of democracy but it is a potential outcome of conservative capitalism in governing. 

Glenn is incorrect on "Socialists believe in inequality of opportunity" because that is in fact Capitalism currently the system in place. Opportunity, before government has any say, is provided for according to the amount of money people have earned or have the potential to make which is steadily increasing in inequality especially while social programs of the Obama administration to assist in leveling the field for healthcare availability for everybody including children of those people who can't sustain their most minimum needs much less provide for opportunities for their children, and tuition debt for those who managed to survive to see adulthood and wish to join the workforce. Conservatives believe in "inequality of opportunity" only they call it "equal" because they seek to relinquish taxes that are higher on the wealthy. Equal taxing does not lead to equal opportunity when "job providers" pay minimum wages to make maximum profits and pay the least amount of taxes. This system is verging on true Communism where people die for resisting slavery and their representatives are suppressed by the powers that be who use terms like "patriotism" claiming it's their natural born right to be the ruling class who should be worshipped for granting minimum wage when they have the authority to pay even less if they so choose. This is called "fair" by Trump and Conservatives. Also called "freedom". People are dying without healthcare before they can attain to the limited opportunity of acquiring a lifetime of debt to be paid. Tell someone with cancer to "get a job". Addicts are told the same thing for the fact that they turned to drugs to help overcome their hardships as they're intelligent enough to know there is no use in trying to raise a family because to do so would mean lying to their children on a daily basis... I digress, sick people don't recover in a sick society with a conservative democracy. Liberal measures must be made to assure the social welfare of society before there can be any figment of "equal opportunity" and the American way as it once was billed to be. 

Patriots seek to regain their freedom by emancipation of conservative mind controlled terms used to provoke mental and life long financial slavery calling it entropy or survival of the fittest. They are unfit to rule when fitness is no longer required to be financially stable in the form of labor. Let us not be deceived in the name of Justice! Amen. 

"Justice on fire" @ Cascadia 2017 by Taylor McAvoy Photography and me (pictured) performing the titled piece 🔥

May 24, 2017

Do unto others: Who claims tax exemption when it comes to the golden rule?

If you call yourself a Christian there is only one rule given to you by Christ and that is:

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. 

So when now was this changed to I work a job and am miserable so I don't want to pay taxes and help feed people who have no job? Why is it assumed that they're lazy? Have you ever been starving and unable to focus on anything else and felt the overwhelming futility of even if you find a job today, you will somehow have to prove yourself competent enough to keep it while having no money for transportation and food for 3 weeks before you will see your first paycheck? Imagine feeling this for a moment and what you would do if stuck in this bleak situation. You would want help! 

You deserve a chance because you know it's not for lack of trying nor being willing to work if given a chance! You know you could turn it around and return to being a productive member of society who works and pays their own way if only another person would present you with the hope and support of caring enough that you might live through those 3 weeks! Now if you were to look to the world, your friends, your family, your church, your community, the government asking for them to carry you so that you might eventually give back and they all were to assume you are a lazy drug addict and say they assume you just die because you are not worth being helped, what would you do? Scrounge up some change and go buy a fifth of MD and drink until you don't feel that pain anymore? I would. What else is there to do but self destruct when told that you need help but none is given from anyone in your world? Really!?

There is plenty of money for weapons of war but none so that the people who live in our communities can feel that anyone cares? Do you want to see Americans dying on the street and have to step over them on your way to your job everyday while knowing they are laying there dying or dead because you would not allow them to receive healthcare, food stamps, and a bus ticket or carpool with them? What will you do when you arrive at work to find none of your subordinates are there and your company is bankrupt because all the people who buy your products are too drunk and distressed to leave their houses and come to work because of all the death and decay outside and now you look to your government who says we can't afford to do anything because we cut your taxes and bought bombs with what was left.

It's up to YOU to do something!! You call the police and they too are dying from influenza and so are their kids because they could not afford the $1200 deductible to see a doctor and pay their mortgage and buy food & gas so they too are hiding at home with a bottle of gin, shooting heroin to numb the feeling of failure and that no one cares about them and yet expects them to clean up this mess you put us in because you could afford to take care of yourself and kept all of your salary instead of asking for a program to keep our country running and happy and healthy!! What now?? Jesus returns?! What will he say if that happens and who do you really think he should take with him, the dying and suffering or you the sadists? Greed is a sin ~ let he who hath not sinned throw the first stone. Greed is more evil than laziness or addiction because addiction is fueled only by suffering.

Judge not lest ye be judged

Did Jesus die for you to be greedy and torment everyone else on the planet or so that you might learn to Love one another?
The reason Jesus died on the cross was so that none would have to suffer the same fate! He was trying to make a point!! God was going to destroy all of creation because we are greedy, selfish, and evil and Jesus said, wait.. let me try to show them the way. It is by giving of yourself that you come to know eternal life! Jesus didn't do it for you but to show you how cruel and wrong the world is. There is no way to the father but by me for God is Love and not hate & cruelty and judgement and punishment of those who are less fortunate and yet you would crucify your brother man and call yourself superior and be the other's executioner.


Now should we spend tax money on universal healthcare, medicaid, food stamps, treatment for addicts (forgiveness), build new roads and infrastructure, parks & gardens, produce more oxygen so we can breathe instead of burning fossil fuels so that billionaires profit short term OR should we get rich and make war and turn our backs on God, Jesus, and Creation? Don't think for one minute that anyone will save you if you won't donate a small portion of your income tax so that others may simply live. God might save them but you will be left here to serve as slaves to Trump for eternity for it....

Apr 6, 2017

Let us talk rationally about conspiracy 

Why are conspiracy "theories" so popular on the internet? What provokes ordinary humans to get drawn into researching them? Could it be that nagging gut instinct that something is amiss? Fear. 

Let's look at the facts ~

1.) 1 in 100 of every American is a diagnosed clinical sociopath and these are only those who confess to a psychologist. source:

2.) 0.36% of the world's population own more than $50 million which is more money than they can ever spend in a lifetime if they tried and their children tried and their grandchildren tried because let's say if they spent it all they would be rewarded another $50 million.. They couldn't and of course they're not trying to spend it and instead invest it into more wealth and power with a lust that shows no remorse. Meanwhile 71% of the population owns less than $10 grand which is the recommended "emergency savings" not an actual retirement fund. source: 

3.) 23% have far, far less than $10 grand in savings. In fact, 23% of Americans struggle and will continue to struggle indefinitely just to bring their accumulated life's net worth value back to the $0 they were born with. I would call this volunteer or more likely coerced slavery considering that the odds are stacked against them given the current rate of inflation, interest rates, and the average wage increase compared to the rate of inflation or costs of living are nowhere near an ideal match. Not to mention credit card interest rates compared to savings account growth which is easily annihilated by overdraft fees which this 23% know about all too well. I know! I paid my bank $140 for the month of March and was literally starving 5 days of it but I am not in this category as I have zero dollars net worth opposed to negative $10 grand. source:

So from these 3 facts we can draw irrefutable conclusions that are also facts. This is known as circumstantial evidence and it is precisely what every day is used by a Court of Law to convict criminals. Circumstantial evidence is equal to eyewitness testimony. This is by way of the constitution that set in place a government of the people, for the people, and by the people. But who really controls the facts or rather our perception of these facts? What's the difference between the conjecture of something labeled a "theory" and something declared an "official" agreed upon irrefutable "fact". Acknowledgement of the press. Do I even need to dig up the facts on who owns the press or is it safe to say now that we have a common household term of "fake news" that there is in fact a conspiracy to control our perception and enslave us to suffer endlessly at the hands of overly greedy, malicious, evil sociopaths? I have proven it beyond a shadow of a doubt. Now, what are we going to do about it?

They know if we stop believing in the system then we will starve to death. They don't care, they laugh and pat themselves on the back taking joy in how brilliant their plan is taking effect. They also know that our emotions are our weakness and stress will likely kill us before we are able to organize ourselves into a more powerful mass. Let us begin to think of a simple solution to take our lives and our world's bountiful resources back. We know where the source of power lies: The banking industry and the federal reserve.

What fuels it? The internet or world wide web we're all caught in like dolphins in a tuna net. What if we flick the switch? Let us contemplate the greater good and the end result of short term suffering vs. long term if not infinite slavery and continual suffering. Or maybe our God the Sun/Son will save us. I'll pray for us and I'm a rational agnostic which is why I refer to Jesus as Sol. This opinion matters not and does not negate a single fact as we are united in one common denominator:

"We the people of the United States of America, in order to form a more perfect union... with Liberty and Justice for all."

Mar 28, 2017

I believe in love at first sight

I'm cursed. I'm in love and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. No matter how unreasonable it is to feel this way already, I am. He's not. He makes me want to be a better person, the best me, someone worthy of being a good equal partner to him. There's no point in browsing tinder. There's only one him, the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I'm smitten and also hurting because he is and I don't have a clue what I can do but wait. For the first time in 6 years my ex was replaced in my dreams so I went to meet him. It was the cutest thing I've ever experienced ~ utterly adorable!! So now it's too late. I have no choice but to hope I don't get crushed, seems inevitable. I don't care. For him I'll wait as long as it takes...

Mar 24, 2017

Leap and the Net will Appear ~

Heartsinspyre Entertainment is bringing the circus to town so you get to find a date!

Because SINGLES EVENTS SHOULDN'T SUCK. So take a chance and risk some fun for once, eh? We'll see you there! K peace

Revenge of the Banana!

Hold on to the good times while you're included because you never know when nor why you might be ostracized. But if you do find yourself on the outside for no apparent reason despite showing nothing but loyalty.. the best revenge is simply your continued SUCCESS! The proof of which will always be self evident. So don't be a jerkface ever because when all is said and done, you don't want to look back and question your intention. If you're a follower and treat others shitty because you're preoccupied with what others might think.. can't be associated with someone you perceive an outsider? People won't remember your associations. They will remember, however, how you made them feel! Best to be real and true to the right side of the story because you never know if that camera crew documenting for some school project might turn into a nationally released major movie.. Memory is a funny thing! It's so fucking weird to watch yourself on a big screen and realize how fuzzy and foggy the details are of just a typical random night of your life 2 years before. I only had the vaguest recollection of Josh saying there was gonna be a camera crew there one of the many nights we spent at the Rebar.. couldn't remember if it was one of the 2 or 3 I was asked to McFondlette. I only slightly wondered if there was maybe a chance I would show up in the film figuring I'd probably get a quick "woo!" split second spot from in the audience since I was there a lot. I would have been satisfied as such. Boy, was I surprised to find my screen time was closer to 5 whole minutes than 2 seconds! Even here in the preview is me obviously hamming it up for the camera and yet I swear I don't remember them being there except for (after seeing it on the big screen last year at SIFF ~ Seattle International Film Festival) in the green room at the end when we were saying our good byes at the end of the night. To say I'm a method actor would be an understatement! It's true that I can only contribute this to the fact that I was no longer in character in that scene.

Life's a trip... don't be a dick (or a banana ~ same/diff)!

Mar 21, 2017

Freelance Nightmares

So supposedly we have a new world order in the job market and methods of seeking income in trade for your skills and services. Sure, I have been a "private contractor" for awhile now getting hired to be a performer at parties or provide entertainment services or working as a brand ambassador or hired by temp agencies. This has been all fine and dandy however when I started a few weeks ago looking to supplement this meager income that's earned me no more than $10 grand a year EVER so that I might actually break out of mere starving artist status, IT HAS BEEN A FREAKING NIGHTMARE!!!

First of all there's tons of bloggers out there who live off of affiliate income and will affiliate with anyone. It's actually a lot easier and likely more profitable to just sign up as an affiliate and start recommending and funneling traffic towards a website from the millions of desperately seeking searchers online just like myself. Just because a blogger (or writer/reporter since there's no difference between news and "news") says that something pays people for doing things certainly does not mean it will nor that the blogger tested that aspect before saying it. So far from my experiences the majority that do actually pay you, only pay you pennies or are completely flooded with decently skilled workers living in India where pennies may work out to be of some actual value in currency exchange. In America where even the lowest minimum wages are $5 an hour which is still not anywhere close to substantial compared to cost of living, these are scams! Slavery has been abolished already...

I'm going to start blogging about each and every experience so that if you are like me then perhaps I can serve you with a warning to avoid them! None of us like wasting our time. 

Stress kills and this overwhelming feeling I get every day that passes me by that I have not achieved my goal of simply having more money coming in than going out of my bank account is not improving.

scam #1: Spare5
This one was recommended in a book I found on Amazon called Active Income Streams and as you can see after a good long hard evening I have earned myself 61 cents.

scam #2:
Now this one I found surprising! I used this site to hire some Indian graphic designers and bought my logo, some posters, and other really cool designs from people before so I when I decided to give it a shot and turn the tables from being a cheap American starving artist/business owner to an "okay I'm really fucking starving now" freelancer willing to do just about anything for work it was not so pleasant. I got hit up to be a webcam girl aka "special chat friend ;)" on skype for $250 and #suckit I mean #shutup when I hit accept figuring that every hiring person would be as kind as I was when I offered to pay the runners up in my logo contest consolation prizes.. so nothing bad could happen if we just discussed stuff in sorta person, right? Wrong. I immediately received a notification from paypal that I PAID FREELANCER -$25!? Yup. Apparently they just go right on ahead and collect their 10% commission on your future to be completed and then approved and then transferred and hopefully released to you income!! Get this too ~ an employer can delete a job listing/offer for $5 so in theory you could potentially do the work or chat porn thing and then go to collect your completed payment and it's long gone leaving you with nothing to even try to dispute that you are owed. Omfg, and no.. this did not happen to me because I was already freaking out about my lunch money being gone to pick up my skype calls. I'm just sick that I'm going backwards and decided to quit for the night and write a blog instead.

PS. There's no affiliate codes in this blog entry but I think there's ads on my blog that have earned me a grand total of maybe 40 cents in the time it's existed so don't click em if you don't want me to get a fraction of a penny from google or amazon. Cheers ~

Feb 3, 2017

Defining Fringe Theater or Art in General

When my insomnia turns or decides to try and be productive and DO something, this is what happens: 

All while trying to write a new business description for Heartsinpyre Entertainment, I wondered if "fringe" might be a good new buzz word #hashtag to describe our services since we are not a big top circus, nor theater company, nor catering service... but now I'm considering re-writing or writing an edit for the wikipedia article for "fringe theatre" because the one I found that currently exists is completely biased sounding and vastly incorrect to the best of my own personal knowledge, understanding, and experience which of course could be incorrect...?

From what I understand, using the term "fringe" to describe any artist, artistic form or format (theater, film, dance, sculpture, etc), art piece/product/ production or event and even when including a collection such work (fringe festival) means it is anything adding to the periphery of mainstream. The term is reserved for works inspired by a form but not held to that form in every aspect of it's traditionally known restraints in that of structure, staging, content, creation, character, flow, format or follow through, dialogue or delivery, principle or purpose, and particularly that of participating entities be they part of the contributing body or audience receiving in terms of role, idea, education, expression, compensation, and level of experience. Fringe theater can be all plot, and no story line.. Waiting for Godot fits this precisely. Or fringe theater may lack a script, a stage, a character, a cause, a concept, or purpose which doesn't mean it is less than what was meant by it. Lacking safe solid traditional structure does not automatically mean it was produced by bad artists, or strictly amateurs, nor under funded companies, nor poorly screened art collectives. The writer or the found wiki page seems to think "fringe theatre" is like "community theatre" only without auditions so anybody can play a role and get paid even less for doing it which of course is possible in theater it's called a "stipend".

In short "fringe" is anything on the outskirts of mainstream. 

It's not the main freeway but a contributory stream. It's not opening on Broadway, but it is musical theater in a box with an imaginary 4th wall or people may not sing at all because that's realistic which may or may not add or subtract to its entertainment value and fanatical or financial success or sudden death. Just think once upon a time some crazy person thought what if we miniaturized the *theatre stage and multiplied them into take home mini-boxes. Yup, television was fringe once and it had nothing to do with budget limits, bad writing, bad plots, bad concepts that fail to congeal or turn into mush we call abstract art. Not by a long shot! It was just fringe entertainment possibilities outside the realm of mainstream theatre that didn't stick to a traditional theatre format when it changed mediums because it evolved. Radio, however didn't change story telling from single read novels or playwright read scripts. Honestly the writer of the subject wiki link seems to only think in terms of "festivals" which makes me believe they're an amateur film director instead of having anything to do with theatre or else they're a union grip. My reason for this is personal experience with trying to write/direct/and stage my own production and coming to the conclusion that it's impossible to get an art grant unless you're already rich enough to not need it and bored enough to start your own non-profit to pool your wealth into exorbitant corporate shaped systems where you develop volunteer programs to save you money on paying artist so you can employ a herd of non-acting union workers because you think in terms of building railway lines and not in connecting people with art. Employees of bureaucracies seem to focus solely on finding it in their budget to hire an assistant to their work for them which was given to them by their superior who was never assigned to do anything for the City but the budget of the department. How many people does it require to comprise of an art festival jury or to determine the winner of an annual grant? Why do I get a weekly newsletter about non-profit art organizations that only issue one grant per year but constantly announce new program titles and administrative hires to over see them which typically requires them to hire a social media intern, marketing assistant, blah blah blah.. communications specialist to write a new newsletter about all the meetings and conventions they are having for admins to talk about more hashtag catch phrases and niche minority demographics to branch into or specialize.

I've never known a theatre festival nor a film festival that was produced for picking winners or casting best of award placards. Is this norm or am I truly just that fringe of a human with a fringe career in art? I've yet to mention fringe science but there's a whole show on the subject with an IMDB and everything so #suckit

*pss.. when I use re instead or er for theater it means I'm referring to stagecraft opposed to cinema. example: Shakespeare is theatre, Spielberg makes movies for a silver screen that's hung in a theater.. usually I tend to not be pretentious and admit I'm American, not European but on rare occasions when it becomes necessary I instantly revert for distinction, as do all those who have been trained in acting or get paid to deal with actors

Jan 7, 2017

Got to have Faith

  My transiting aspects of astrology is almost impossible to interpret without advanced knowledge + skill and even then the experts will have to spend quite a bit of time in contemplation to fully grok it and be able to explain to me what's going on. My dear friend, Austin Coppock, was at a loss when I was freaking out with irrational bouts of anxiety from the triple conjunction (Neptune, Jupiter, Chiron) sitting precisely on top of my Sun sign while my in my Probationer year which written instructions had me practicing Resh. To his credit all the expert astrologers were still struggling to explain the newly discovered Chiron and how that triple conjunction was effecting the population in general, much less someone who was personally activating her highest powers with it in precise alignment. Jupiter in Aires is the strongest aspect in my chart. Well, some would say my moon in Cancer but I say that there's nothing strengthening about having your Moon precisely conjunct Saturn and opposite Venus. I have a double T-square or conjunct T-square.. don't think there's a name for it because I doubt it's common enough. So any would be computer generated horoscope interpretation is never quite correct because it fails to consider all the oppositions causing things to cancel each other out or be way more significant or just different and almost unexplainable. Complicated is a word that maybe scratches the surface. I'm use to knowing things without an explanation for why or how. I know something AMAZING IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.

Jupiter Square Venus 0.33 -109
Jupiter Opposition Jupiter 0.34 -187
Saturn Trine Jupiter 0.55 80
Uranus Conjunction Jupiter 0.38 300

  I feel really strange! Oddest sensation EVER is your heart on fire with a rush of chills from head to toe simultaneously. Thought maybe I was hungry but couldn't feel my stomach for swooning. Ate and nah, still there. It's like a half asleep in the clouds while half perfectly grounded and yes, I meditated a little while ago and drop cords so that's not it either. It's magnetism. That's what it is and I don't care to explain because someone else is on the other end so I am not alone anymore and won't be for a very long time from now but time isn't relative in the here and after. I am blessed, oh so blessed... <3 namaste="" p="">

Dialogue be damned

Whenever I reflect upon my short comings, paranoid thinking due to incidents of abuse in my formative years that shattered my trust, and the...