Oct 20, 2012

rent rage

  Getting ready to move out of my dream apartment tomorrow to a slightly more affordable one I will be living in with the blessed assistance of my parents (yes, I'm extremely lucky to have financial help). I've lived here at my current residence for 8 years now and I'm sad to leave. In 2004, when I first moved in, rent was $650 a mo. Let's say hypothetical, which is close to the truth as I was waiting tables at the time 5 days a week getting tips but closer to 30 hours than 40.. I was making the Wa state min wage of $7.16 an hour x 40 x 4 = $1146 a mo so rent of $650 was a tiny bit lush but completely doable. My rent has now skyrocketed to a whopping $1450 a mo! So let's say, once again hypothetical, if I were still employed in that same career or min wage range as many of the 99% are I would be making the new 2012 Wa state min wage of $9.04 an hour x 40 x 4 = $1446 a mo or $4 shy of any chance to actually pay my rent. So while my rent has increased a total of $800 a mo in 8 years my salary has only increased by $300 a mo. Now we can add in the rising price of food and gas or bus fares if we'd like to but you see the point.. There's a major problem happening in this country that not only affects the middle class but practically eradicates the lower class into a permanent state of homelessness or death!

Sep 24, 2012

quest for contentment

  I realized I tend to fall into a slight slump of depression when days, like today, I texted my latest man crush and hours later still received no response. In my latest pursuits of practicing yoga (not just asana but also pranayama, the yamas, and niyamas, pratyahara, dharana, dyana, and samadhi) this attachment is no longer acceptable to me. In meditation it is possible to locate the original experience of something, it's seed if you will, and observe the austerity of it thereby eradicate it or liberate yourself from it once and for all. So I sat down in meditation and tried to get to the root of that sense of need to be exclusively special to someone other than me. I traced it all the way back through my life and discovered it's deeply located in the womb and even before conception there was the calling, the sense of being wanted and needed to incarnate for higher purpose.. This exercise I suppose can be labeled "FAIL"


May 24, 2012

rebound relationships..

what do you really expect them to be? nothing shy of short, fast, and furious? no, not really...


sipping champagne to celebrate crash and burning again. anyway....

Feb 3, 2012


Letter to the Washington State Health Care Authority (HCA) who only recognizes five formulations of medications in the treatment of addictions: Suboxone, buprenorphine, Campral, naltrexone and Vivitrol IM.

Dear HCA,

I would like to request or suggest that Buproprian be added to the list of recognized for use in Medication Assisted Treatment of cocaine, methamphetamine (MA), and nicotine addiction. ADATSA (Alcoholism and Drug Addiction Treatment and Support Act) is currently stifled by the fact that patients enrolled have to apply for additional Medical assistance after already waiting a month for their ADATSA assessment and benefits to go into effect because their chemical dependency is considered a behavioral problem. One of the reasons why MA use has escalated to an epidemic of epic proportions is this ill conceived notion that it is only a psychological addiction instead of a physical one. The difference between a psychological and physically addictive substance is the primary organ effected by it's use, heart or brain. Psychological addictions are not overcome by coaching an addict to think differently because the substance does not alter their brains by merely coaxing them to behave badly. MA profoundly alters the chemistry of the brain effecting the whole central nervous system! Just because a person can technically still be alive without brain function opposed to clinically dead if their heart stops which is the risk of ceasing opiate and alcohol intake, does not mean that the person has any less of a problem! If pharmaceuticals can treat or reduce the damage caused to a stimulant user's brain then they should be every bit as available since they suffer an increased debilitation in function if prolonged. Opiate users only confront their fear of a periodic painful discomfort trying to stop opposed to an unaided, involuntary lack of control of their decisions. The brain is complex chemistry, the heart is only a muscle...

Thanks for reading!


Feb 1, 2012

Black Hole Sun

Okay so I've tried to remain extremely skeptical about all the Niburu conspiracy theories, using scientific discretion, however I'm not sure what to make of this! Why does the "sun" appear black in these webcam photos live in Antarctica?!? Check it out:

Webcam Neumayer Station IIIWebcam Neumayer Station III

Jan 16, 2012



K first off since you can't see all of me in my "Born This Way" video.. Watch this one for what's going on in the first part (except the timing changed slightly so that you're wagging your hips until "right track" or 5, 6 and sliding down your body on "baby I was born.." 7, 8)

Then I think you can see the rest of it here. There's a 4 count just before we step together step touch (snaps) for you to just give some attitude like "yeah, we kicked ass.." heh

I am ready to record "Marry the Night" asap! But for now this is my inspiration version for you to watch and MIRROR until you get mine hopefully by the end of the night...

Check back here for updates! Costume details! Call time on Wednesday! Plan to meet up early that day so we can work out our formations, who starts when, and run it several times to make sure we're on the same foot/page!!

Jan 13, 2012


Not a day goes by that I don't cry for the loss of your love and companionship...

Jan 5, 2012

Totem Poll

What Totem Animal Are You?

For 58 % you are: You are...A WOLF! Your utmost priority is leadership and kindness. You make friends easily and steadily, learn quickly, and care about others, hurting as much as they do when they're having a hard time.
% of Quiz participants had this profile!

You could also get this result:
For 21 % you are: You are...AN EAGLE! You're serious, concentrated, calculating, and judging. You are a natural born leader, and can be compassionate towards close friends. You may come off rather bossy to some.

Or even this one:
For 21 % you are: You are...A DEER! You're artistic, creative, very compassionate, gentle, and kind. You like to delve into very complicated artistic activities such as drawing, sketching, or playing music. You're always there when a friend needs you.

Jan 3, 2012

cognitive vs. dissonance circa 2012

Starting to learn cognitive behavior theory. As a thoughtful skeptic I tend to test theories, no matter how or in what context they're given to me, on a variety of different means before applying them to their proposed working model and using them practically.. I was astonished to find how well this practice worked on the big questions surrounding the 2012 end of the Mayan calendar.

Are the Mayans still around to have need of an extension to their calendar? Not so much. If were exterminated before y2k we too would have ended our digital existence then having no need for our bank machines and time cards to accompany us.. How do you imagine they felt back in zero BC/AD? Kidding but you get my drift. It's possible that their calendar ends simply because they had no need of any point of reference that far ahead and they assumed the task could easily be picked up by someone else on down the road or simply cycle back to 1. Indeed the day (12/21/12) does have very much the indication of the zero mark which is far from negative annihilation and way more a renewed potential positive possibilities.. You know, who wants to deal with umpteen digit figures when your scratch pad is made of rock? sheesh....

Jan 1, 2012

DYT ~ damn you transits!

Oh! Look at my lucky new year's day ~

Sunday January 1, 2012

Moon Conjunction Jupiter, exact at 20:35
Moon Trine Neptune, exact at 05:15
Moon Sextile Mars, exact at 13:49
Moon Sextile Med.Coeli, exact at 17:38
Moon Opposition Pluto, exact at 00:43
Moon Square Venus, exact at 23:22

Important long-term influences ~

Saturn Square Mercury
Pluto Sextile Uranus
Saturn Square Moon

Basically Saturn & Pluto are square & opposed my ever so sensitively ambitious T Square ~ trials! tribulations! Pretty much all year... Sucks fnord.

Here ~
click for comprehensible view..

Dialogue be damned

Whenever I reflect upon my short comings, paranoid thinking due to incidents of abuse in my formative years that shattered my trust, and the...