Jan 19, 2011

by Jove!

My transits next 6 mo:
Uranus trine Moon ~ mid March 2010 until mid February 2011
Saturn conjunction Pluto ~ October 2010 until beginning of August 2011
Pluto sextile Uranus ~ end of January 2011 until end of November 2012
Jupiter opposition Pluto ~ 13 March 2011 until 21 March 2011
Jupiter conjunction Jupiter ~ 23 April 2011 until 1 May 2011
Jupiter square Moon ~ 20 May 2011 until 29 May 2011

Jupiter Return:
This influence indicates the beginning of a new cycle of growth and progress. However, it is often the focus of exaggerated expectations. You may expect sudden windfalls, great wealth or luck, and all kinds of wonderful opportunities. And these things do happen sometimes with this influence, but most people should expect more subtle, but equally useful effects.

Events now, such as meetings with persons or even changes in your psyche, open the way for you to become wiser and more mature and to have a broader understanding of the world. At this time you will reach out consciously and unconsciously and ask more of the world, but at the same time you are willing to give more to the world.

This influence can make you feel either more demanding or more giving toward others, but you are not likely to get much out of it if you think only of what you can get. The law of conservation of energy in the universe says that you can transform the energies in your life from one form to another, but you cannot create them out of nothing. This influence represents a time when you should see whether you are doing that in your life.

Concretely, you can expect persons who are good for you to come into your life. Or circumstances will arise that give you increased freedom or an opportunity to do something that you have never done before. Educational opportunities may come to you at this time, or a chance to travel. Sometimes this influence does in fact bring about financial advantage, but you should not sit around passively waiting for it to happen. This is an excellent time to invest or expand in business as long as you are very careful not to overdo it or overextend yourself.

info from www.astro.com

Jan 17, 2011

the secret of a clown

well think I'm getting possessed by a demon again... but at least we know I'm good at it.

I remember why I decided to quit acting ~ because it would make me mad. so I agreed to only do clown skits that way I'm at least being upfront and honest about the use of smoke and mirrors.. I'm not fooling anyone. see there's a secret about being a clown ~ s/he's dead serious! why doesn't he tell anyone that? because they would never believe him. they would say he's surely gone mad.. so he let's them laugh instead. why would he let that happen? because he's not mad, just broken. some things are sacred ~ they can not be said without someone crying their self to death.. it is utterly true that you can die of a broken heart.

there is a river and it flows into the ocean. tears pour forth from the eyes of the goddess.. none can wonder why she is hurting. she hurts because she's born forth so many children. she loves all of them. because of this the clown exists, he the priceless one, is sworn to do her bidding. though she asks for nothing the fool insists on doing absolutely anything it takes to end once and for all everyone's pain and suffering. for some reason she cries even more because of it. not sure why this is though I can feel it. oh but now I cry and I can tell you why ~ it makes no sense! it's just way too beautiful.

I have no idea why beauty would make me cry but then again at last here I am. it's never too late to assume you know absolutely nothing because at least for once you'd finally be right about everything. ah, yes, conundrum. I like words. I refuse to do math since I already know what's called probability. I understand chaos well but surely you know by now, words fail, towers fall, and I think it's way too funny! I don't believe anyone had to test chaos theory but you know me, and I know absolutely nothing.

everything is sacred. there is nothing that isn't, no desolation of abominations oh my god though, it's fucking hilarious! who writes this shit? someone thank him, bless his heart! that was good. so now, will you all please take care? and if you do then please I am begging you ~ play apart and do make a show of it!

new classic clown character I'm thinking about developing call her "Good old puffy-eyed" or just Puffy yeah that works good! fyi or btw.. the other ones I call "Juju the Clown" and of course who'd forget "Meme the Mime" (pronounced mimi or me! me! get it? she is silent)

Jan 2, 2011

Know Thyself!

wow ~ this is the most in depth personality analysis I've ever been presented with on me, myself, & I! it's a free career assessment test that's surprisingly easy yet seems to get randomly get to your core values save to its randomness... perhaps? here take it ~ http://www.assessment.com

heheh.. no but seriously, it has got me nailed! check out the obvious as well as the deeper complexities I was less aware would be so obvious from a 71 multiple choice questioned exam:

  • Heather (my legal name btw) can actually experience a certain kind of mental claustrophobia that may have adverse effects activity.
  • Math may be about the same as a foreign language for Heather. At least, it is foreign to Heather's mental preferences in one-way or another. Mathematical problems seem to become bigger problems if Heather tries to solve them. (ha! no kidding..)
  • Heather is motivated to influence and convince others as part of social, organizational, vocational, or recreational activities. A motivation exists to speak up when there is reason, occasion, or opportunity to sway others to Heather's ideas or way of thinking.  
  • Heather is empathetically and sympathetically aware of the hurts, needs, problems, and wishes of others and is motivated to help whenever possible. There is inclination and willingness to get personally involved in the personal lives of others in order to help with one's talents and resources.
  • Heather looks for new options, challenges, assignments, acquaintances, relationships, and even new careers in new places as she tires of repetition. Even activities that were interesting at the start once they become routine (Ooo! look.. shiny) Heather finds a motivation to move on to new other things.
  • Heather is motivated to work on projects that are planned, scheduled, and completed. This indicates a preference to complete a project rather than leave it unfinished. But completion or achievement may be offset by switching to a project of higher priority and/or interest, with the hope that the uncompleted project may be done another day. What is not completed will probably be kept in mind until it is completed. (unfortunately..)
  • Motivational levels are highest for Heather when in the limelight where recognition is earned, deserved, or given. However, there is no "ego trip" involved in the effort. Heather can comfortably function in the foreground or the background. Nonetheless, recognition is motivational.
  • Heather is conscious of existence, meaning, purpose, potential and destiny of humankind, people, and self. Heather is motivated by a self-felt, self-accepted calling to the cause of good, growth, and gain in the lives of others.  Perception and thinking tend to be holistic and conceptual; i.e., seeing the big picture. 
  • Heather's preferences fully support holistic, conceptual perception, and thinking relative to the basic nature, utility, potential, or strategic possibility of what is being observed or considered. This includes intuition, insight, creativity, curiosity, experimentation, and innovation in various degrees. 
  • Heather's motivations are heightened significantly by persuasive, gregarious, auditory-musical, visual-artistic, and communicative traits to entertain others with intent to convince them toward a particular idea, viewpoint, direction, objective, or product. A high level of motivation exists because there is an element of risk involved where the effort has a goal tied to the end of the act.  
  • Heather has intuition and philosophical curiosity that causes an awareness of personality, intentions, emotions, ethics, values, and moods of other persons, and of self.
  • If it has philosophical or benevolent objectives, it will be a soft-sell. But if Heather is defending and/or championing the cause of the underdog or the less fortunate, then it will seem as if some modern-day Don Quixote and/or Joan of Arc are doing the persuading. (my voices were right!)
  • Heather has motivational levels that support operating heavy, mobile equipment such as trucks, earth-movers, cranes, etc. (meh.. it's just job but I like driving me some heavy machinery!)
  • Heather is strongly motivated to coordinate: to take actions, to manipulate that which is at hand in order to "get the show on the road."
  • Heather applies scientific/technical/logical thinking (to the fullest extent this ability exists) to identify, analyze, and solve challenges and/or problems; to collect data, establish facts, connect abstract and concrete variables, draw valid conclusions, determine appropriate action, devise strategies and systems to achieve objectives. (woah.. that's some potential, huh?)
  • Heather does not prefer activities requiring verbatim perception, recording, and/or processing of details, especially where numbers are involved. Heather may simply lack interest or the motivation to express self vocationally through the use of basic math skills while possibly quite capable. (just do we're clear.. heh)

Dialogue be damned

Whenever I reflect upon my short comings, paranoid thinking due to incidents of abuse in my formative years that shattered my trust, and the...