Aug 13, 2009

the Wounded Healer

I'm still in the middle of an intense process right now due mainly to the meeting/or reunion (from a prior life I'm assuming since his cycle is @50 years) with a long lost old friend, Chiron, the wounded healer. Just when I thought all the old karma from years worth of abuse as a woman who's walked the Earth the past 200+ years was finally done.. salt was poured on all the wounds I had ignored for the sake of progression/evolution/enlightenment but on the contrary.. my Work has just begun despite the fact I thought the deal was if I could only get them to move then I too could go with them! Nope. It's just like the dream I had about the Golden Gate Bridge on 1/3/2000 I will get left behind in a less than a heartbeat because No One cares about me but Me. I put all my eggs in one basket because I truly believed that if I would do anything for someone then they would in turn eventually be willing to anything for me especially once they see how damaged I've gotten to be.. it's the Golden Rule, right?! Yeah well that yellow bricked road leads you straight to hell paved with your good intentions.. I entirely put my personal needs/desires/dreams completely on the back burner this life because I wanted to getter done! Once and for all! So I not only have never been anywhere near a state of emotional fulfillment, nor even content for more than fleeting moments.. but I'm now left alone to fight for my own soul! ABANDONMENT is my fate for all the love I've shown!! I can't heal if Nobody cares but you did because I never faltered! Why won't you just rape me and beat me to a bloody pulp instead? PLEASE just don't walk away! Show me I at least make you passionate even if it's abuse.. I forgive you! Yes I am that AMAZING! What you didn't notice how much I persevered to still be here? That doesn't make you love me? I can't even fathom your contempt suddenly.. What did I do to deserve this? Why am I still being punished? Well since you actually still reading this whoever you are if you only will read all of it and consider for one single moment pouring your heart out until it's an empty grail and finding nothing there to drink and I offered you my blood, every single last drop.. Would you take it? For all that it's worth? All the power in the world could never stop my love though I've been ripped into pieces on the wheel of fortune.. but to love me is better than all things or condemned, it's no matter, not one particle of dust...... Back to my astrology transits in case there's someone who cares, it is time. Do what thou wilt:


** Chiron Conjunction Sun, activity period from beginning of March 2009 until beginning of February 2010 - Come out of your shell ***

Valid during many months: During this time a particular sore point of yours is disturbed, a sensitivity or vulnerability that you may not be aware of, as this wound is part of your being. It was probably inflicted a long time ago, in your early childhood, and all that remains today is a scar - a certain vulnerability or injury.

So it may well be that you do not really notice anything when your old wound is disturbed, as you react to this as you have perhaps always reacted to such situations: You are distressed, hurt, you distance yourself and forget the incident as quickly as possible.

This can occur during conversations with friends, when together with your partner, or during exchanges with your colleagues at work. Nobody wants to do you any harm, you know that perfectly well; the hurt takes place unintentionally, and probably your counterpart notices nothing because you hide your feelings well.

If you do not react by withdrawing as you usually do, but instead show that you have been hurt, you will be forced to explain some things in more detail - not just to your counterpart but also to yourself. In that case you can use this incident as a key to a hidden or forgotten earlier painful experience. This will hardly reduce your pain, but will give you the freedom to behave differently in this, for you, typical situation. If you are more open and understanding about your own hurt, others will understand you better in future.

That is, of course, easier said than done, as this sore point is presently very deeply situated. But this moment in time offers you an outstanding opportunity to stand far enough outside yourself to show your hurt. If you recognize the situation in question and react to it, you will win new strength and confidence.



** Chiron Sextile Chiron, activity period from middle of March 2009 until beginning of February 2010 - Sensitive to moods ***

Valid during many months: You are now unusually sensitive and vulnerable, which could make other people's moods affect you directly. This will make you particularly considerate, helping you to avoid misunderstanding or inadvertently hurting others. Your present condition might be the result of someone unintentionally hurting you by touching on a sensitive issue. This influence indicates that you will become conscious again of pain which you have been carrying for a long time. A wrong word or a joke that backfires can trigger the memory of painful past events which made you feel ashamed or inadequate, often with regard to your own body, particularly with matters related to sexuality. During this time you should pay more attention to such unpleasant memories and not try to push them aside.

Whether your old wounds are physical or psychological, by paying more attention to them you have the opportunity to develop a new relationship to the physical side of your nature. Talking openly to someone you can trust may help. Sport or any other kind of physical activity could now have an additional inner meaning for you. Whatever happens, your heightened preoccupation with the dichotomies of mind and body, intellect and instinct, culture and nature, will turn out to be very rewarding.



** Neptune Sextile Chiron, activity period from end of March 2008 until end of January 2010 - Flights of fancy ***

Valid during many months: This rather subtle influence particularly helps those who, whether in their private or public lives, are confronted with the physical or psychological suffering of others. This can at times allow profound insights into those metaphysical dimensions which usually remain closed to the conscious mind, and which indicate that all suffering is subject to certain principles. You are now less concerned with your daily achievements than with understanding the meaning behind them.

If you are suffering in any way, wholistic remedies or forms of therapy are far more likely to help you than any treatment which merely tries to fight the symptoms. You may learn that someone you know has been greatly helped by homeopathic treatment, or that yoga has eased their back trouble. Help and relief are now likely to come in the form of subtle hints or things mentioned in passing - if you don't overhear them.

This influence could make you feel more relaxed and confident, particularly if you have gone through a testing time recently. If you have to deal with situations which are both challenging and difficult you will now find it easier to take time out or withdraw. You could treat yourself to more short breaks, or spend more time in natural surroundings. You might also discover creative talents such as painting, writing or music which could help you to find new strength. You will now have better access to your world of inner images and imagination, and inner affirmation and dream journeys could lead to healing experiences.


Love is the law, love under will.

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