Oh dear, what can I say? I'm really special!Before you go deciding that I must be a total narcissist from that, maybe I meant "special" as in "special ed" or "special olympics"? Indeed, I did ride the short bus for special people in elementary school once a week to be in the program where we did brain teaser puzzles to challenge us since long division wasn't enough. Actually I suck at abstract notions as numbers greater than the amount of dollars I will ever need to manage to spend (not a lot at all..) but I am hyper aware of more real but less substantiated subjects as the collective human subconscious. This is where I aim to effect change through my art and what I am is truly an artist who relentlessly strives to (not starve) fulfill my destiny as a member of the circus of the sun!Now just wtf do I mean by that exactly? A lot of things both physically real and ethereally pre-ordained. Now is when I start to sound really special! If you can not fathom a universe where both a God (actually most likely a Goddess since we are made in her image and she gave birth to the world) and a scientific beginning big bang simultaneously co-exist then you might as well stop right here. I don't enjoy playing the jester as words are so very faulty when it comes to truth defined to have a meaning or a means to offend and humans are so horribly designed to be judgmental as a survival instinct gone horribly wrong and mass misperception given way to monumentally mad convictions. Our brains are programmed to make an initial short as in 3-5 second assessment and then categorize as yes or no, safe or danger, friend or foe. Nothing closes the door to our infinitely more advanced brainwave capabilities quicker than our preconceived notions like who instantly deemed me an arrogant narcissist, or "special" was offensive even though it wasn't "retarded", then I admitted that my high IQ is a social hindrance, now I'm attempting to define a higher consciousness to whom I gave my life in service yet I'm sure many a Christian male tuned out at mention of "goddess" assuming I'm one of those feminists or pagan demoness. It's true. I am both but it doesn't take much intelligence to understand the deity know as God simply can not be omnipotent and labeled with a limit like gender. Also She/theM said "let there be light" ~ BANG!!!That my most humbly open minded, dear reader, is a fact we know in our hearts. Every time it beats we feel it course through us as we our manifestations of that one light. So I am cursed to walk this earth with a torch seeking to shine into the dark recesses of human ignorance and unconsciousness and worse, intentional attempts to disconnect from the source and instead consume it. The black monster of the abyss is real in all it's myths except for the one about Lucifer but we won't get into that other than I'll leave you with the fact that Lucifer means "bringer of Light"* My notion is more readily described by Steiner in chapter 21 of The Theory of Knowledge Implicit in Goethe's World Conception:
"The object must be lifted entirely out of the sphere of chance and transferred into that of necessity. Nothing must remain in the artistically beautiful upon which the artist has not impressed his spirit. The what must be conquered by the how. The overcoming of the sense-perceptible by the spirit is the goal of art and science. Science overcomes the sense perceptible by dissolving it entirely into spirit; art does so by implanting spirit into the sense-perceptible."
*reference ~ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucifer