Dec 30, 2014


*venting..extra long poetic justice rant warning* 

beep. beep. beep. beep. beep......

Corporations are not people and even people don't have the right to fuck you up the ass on a gd holiday! A brand new customer who hadn't set up their bill payment system yet.. bill past due as of xmas day, 5 days later (1 after I returned home from the desert), the day before NYE, internet cuts out while I'm trying to pay it online!! there's an additional $5 charge to pay by phone and $25 to turn it back on?? No sir, that is not acceptable!! you do not get to fuck me over before I've even had a chance to log into my account. they bill for the upcoming month, not the month you've already received service so at 6 weeks my bill has 3 mo. of charges w/2 past due. I did not know this. golly fucking gee, now I do!! k can I take a shower now and check my email before my gig tomorrow? Nope, 24 hours to be restored. 

yay. still century link is better than wave. ISP's are not people and even people don't expect other people to pay future bills they don't know about on Dec. 30th!! why do we let them treat us this way? brand new customers?! they need to do a teddy bear cancer kid adopt-a-spca pony PR campaign asap because americans don't like bully bigot bastard politicians that fuck other women without their verbal consent so it's time we react to them as the terrorist holding our lives hostage with the shittiestly hostile customer service, excessive fees, dishonest deals that they truly are! (ever get a bill from an ISP that was for the same amount you were told it was going to be? never! always a promo or contract rate you weren't informed of plus a modem rental fee in this case $8 a month and it appears I have a 2 year contract I'm unaware of so total of $192 for a modem I still won't own that should only cost me like $39 one time payment if not complimentary) they should be throwing those modems off of floats at the rose bowl parade since they own the fucking stadiums! yeah, go Seahawks at the sold out Century Link field... Football, the most effective squirrel tangent ever built on the planet by the corporations holding us hostage through our smartphones, pc, hd tv's, and must go hoot and holler like we're not even people with the reasonable right to not be fucked while we're watching football games with our families for our one and only holiday from fighting for money all year long... even God takes the backseat to football on our supposed religious holiday which makes me wonder who the hell is running things since He used to not tolerate the worship and chanting of balls and Bulls if I remember my Bible studies..) even in times of war amongst nations fighting for the right to be free, people know how to lay it down one day a year in the name of good will. corporations have no good will towards men, no respect for God, no need to even say thanks for shopping with us happy holidays, go hawks :) smile and connect because they hold our connections hostage or so they think. 12th man should be yelling at God for dropping the ball in this game, I think. but that's just me.... let's go party and drink! 

happy new thing 🍻🔚

© asraiya 2014

Nov 24, 2014

Stay High

entirely all too familiar... wow


Nov 11, 2014

Stop Usage Based Billing.. Net Neutrality NOW

I accidentally got a little behind on my Broadband bill because I was really broke for awhile but I worked really hard on getting some gigs and finally did accumulate what I thought was enough funds to knock the debt out before they shut me down which would officially make me dead in the water in a state worse than than starvation.. but when I opened up the bill from Wave expecting to see 3 mo of charges at my current rate of ($59.95 -25 off first 12 mo) $34.95 plus the $7.99 late fee times 2 months plus the $8 router rental fee which is just retarded because I don't need it, it just worked better for speeds on my where the router I already owned worked best for my phone/ipad/tablet etc so he left it saying it was free for the first 3 months... So although all these temporary introductory rates not being the official regular price for the service is disappointing and puts me in a slight perpetual fight or flight state knowing it will eventually escape to a rate that is beyond my means, I was however made aware it of course only after I agreed to an install appointment date. I highly appreciate being able to anticipate my bills and know how much work/gig/money I need to come up with, right? Well what I did not know is that my over priced service has a data transfer limit of 300 gb which I supposedly went over by 276 resulting in 2 monthly overage fees of an additional $60... So essentially I am paying $120 a month FOR ONLY INTERNET ~ CABLE NOT INCLUDED as a penalty for streaming Netflix instead of using their commercial ridden entertainment options!!??

Oct 11, 2014

The Fall

Feeling down and downright worthless atm.. Seeing online AraKus gearing up to do another big theater run with Aeterno, and all my circus friends plastered all over promo for Freaknight.. and here I am not booked for a single thing yet this month.. browsing Craigslist and all the casting calls for 18-25 yo actresses contemplating becoming an adult film star or work for an escort service since that's all I seem to qualify for. I've burnt all my bridges and been epically blacklisted all for what? For the chance to be loved? That didn't work out at all, it just tore me apart, and left me for dead....

So now dead I walk, breathe, and talk. I'm just a washed out has been. I may as well quit, give up, and be a drug addicted could have been but no such luck.

"At the Autumn Equinox, the time of balance between night and day, the initiate must arrive at a place of balance and from there descend."
~ The Path of the Spiritual Sun by Belsebuub & Angela Pritchard

Sep 30, 2014

Let go ~

If it's not a safe, warm, cozy bubble, step out of it. Now. Embrace wanderlust!

What have you got to lose? Nothing.

What's there to gain? Inspiration. Wonder. Trust that yourself is enough. Experience it.

Jul 30, 2014

Are love spells bad if YOU don't cast them?

Here. It's just a sparkly fairy. What harm could a sparkly fairy be really? My first tattoo was a green fairy sitting on my shoulder. The root of my name is Asrai which are faeries that turn to water when captured. Reconciliation with a liar, huh? Is that what I really want? More than reconciliation I'd like an explanation, and most of all a proper good bye at the very least. I believe that anyone who has intimately bonded and shared love and special times with me owes me that much respect! I go kind of hysterical when partners fail to SEVER ties without ritual genuine closure. They're running around doing all kinds of things with strings still attached to me so I can feel all of it as if it's being blatantly done in front of my face intentionally to hurt and punish me for some wrong thing I didn't know I'd done... maddening!! Instead of a complete full circle feeling of surrender and cord cutting and being better off for the meeting and thankful for the gift of time and reflecting.

REUNITE. Or cut the cords with a face to face honest heart open truthful conversation, a few tears, a hug and good bye I'll love you always and someday be a good friend you know you can TRUST.

NOT a dick coward who was the only person I trusted said they loved me and yet bald face lied and betrayed me leaving me more damaged than I was before knowing your sweetness!


Free Make Up Spells
Free Make Up Spells

Jul 24, 2014

Breaths can't collapse if you hold them

Every time I look at you I think about how much I'll miss you when you pass away. I want to freeze every frame into the machine of my brain so I may gaze longingly at these pictures of you and not watch them decay. Don't go, true love, please stay! If there's ever a way to stop my dreams from happening I wish to stop this one but I'm too wise to know I should focus on the quality of life and not the time. Be still my mind and better still, be blind. 

Jul 16, 2014

Free Actors Callboard ~ Seattle Casting Calls

We here at Heartsinspyre Entertainment believe that information should be free! While we respect the right of Juan from Performers CALLBOARD to ask for donations for his time, however having been the director of a low budget production before we know how desperate one can be in seeking artists to fill our casting needs. We don't feel that information should come with a fee between the people who seek it and the people it belongs to and to demand starving artists' pay out of pockets only further alienates the elitism between the non-union, non-fiscal, non-profit, non-grant winning, waiting for the final opportunity to bloom or gain experience and learn community at large. This is just another example of greed causing gentrification. So in the true spirit of capitalism a new list has been made to be owned and operated by the community and will remain FREE FOREVER as no one person will have total control keeping it unbiased and neutral and only moderated for spam. Join us now by sending an email to

Post Casting Calls to

Edit your settings on group home page

Once the list begins to grow an email will be sent out seeking Volunteer Moderators and feel free to make suggestion for improvement (positive only, please) to asraiya at 

Jun 29, 2014

True Love and the one that got away.. the story of my Parents

  I seldom tell this story because it's a rather long story as far as what can typically hold most people's attention involuntary. I save it for the people who randomly happen to know enough about me to be intrigued as to my upbringing. As a Gemini rising, I'm all about dichotomy. I'm very humble, rational, realistic, and grounded yet a total fucking princess spoiled brat who will probably never live up to her fantastical expectations. It's very rare but it happened tonight that a friend asked me about my parents. My parents are not only still married but they have the most romantic fairy tale meant to be love story! It's priceless!! Yet as amazing as it may be it makes me feel cursed.. because I have such an incredible thing to live up to. Especially now me being well past the age my parents were when they had me which was 5 whole years after they married mind you and yet I'm still single. I feel utterly disparaged yet never ungrateful nor undetermined because I know something majestically magical brought me into this world. Despite being born so unreasonably premature I would never have made it without a (incubator or some other) mix of medicine & hyper modern machinery, there's no doubt that the Fates gave their blessing. The story is pretty fucking amazing and will never cease to bring a tear to my eye and a flutter to even the most callous of cold hearts because that is our nature as humans beings to believe all our fantasies will eventually become our reality. Who am I to say nay.. I say, "yea, so mote it be!"

mom and dad dating
  So my mom's high school sweetheart of several years was as many years her senior and upon her graduation from high school he finished college and accepted a job in another state. So for whatever was the reason which was a highly evolved decision they agreed to being able to see other people the first year. My mom took a job as a switch board operator she and a girlfriend interviewed for together in a downtown building in Atlanta with a different company occupying each floor full of young adults eager to explore the possible social prospects to be found in the onsite lunchtime cafeteria. My mom's friend was a butterfly always chatting with anyone willing to receive and talking about her most recent dating experience, offering to set my mother up as soon as she was remotely interested.

I think they're still happy together
  Well my mother had in fact run into this one fair man and had her eyes kept on the lookout for him ever since. She had determined at this point which company or which floor he worked on so she agreed to be set up on a blind date with him. Twice she was horribly disappointed to discover her date of choice was in fact not my dad before she finally managed to get the right man. Instantly smitten they both were and within months dad offered her his fraternity pen (akin to a promise/class ring, or varsity jacket etc). My grandmother and family were concerned about this new development and called her high school sweetheart to warn him. So when Christmas came around he showed up secretly unannounced with a ring and proposed her hand in marriage. So my mom accepted her high school sweetheart and broke my father's heart and moved on to spend years with a suspected womanizer.

still love bugs 45 years later

  5 years later after finding proof of her husband's infidelity she left and moved back to Atlanta and got her own apartment and a new job downtown. Somehow within the first year she came across a Georgia Tech alumni directory from one of my dad's fraternal brothers. Immediately she looked up my father's name and called him at his home in Cincinnati. He told her he was happily married and had a little girl named Cynthia Gail (my mother goes by Gail.. oh and it was the rebound girl he managed to get pregnant so my dad being the most honorable father I've ever known did "the right thing" and married her) Disappointed in that oh so familiar notion that poems and songs were written "give all I've got for just one more shot at the one that got away" my mother gave her blessings and a blessed be.

me with my big sister at Tetons national park

  6 months later.. My father calls and says he and his wife have separated and were getting a divorce and he had a airline ticket for that weekend for her to come visit. They've been together ever since ~ 43 years now! Not a day passes that I will accept nothing less will happen someday for me, unfortunately or thankfully yet remains to be seen. I have faith that none can ever take from me and the heart of a mystic indigo child that bears the promise and a key of days to come with nothing left but peace as we lay our burdens down for love and harmony or death. Whatever may be we will receive, yea, we will receive.

mom, dad, my sister Cindi, her husband Art, and their children plus me, the black sheep... in 2006

adita yana mu sana

What Is Your Native American Name?

Adsila translates to Blossom. You are a young person who is having a great time finding yourself. You are easy to get along with and you are able to go with the flow.

Jun 10, 2014


  "As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being."  ~ Goethe

  Another day, another struggle.. and we wouldn't have it any other way now would we? If we would then it would be but it would be lacking in the fundamental beauty we have grown to perceive as the perseverity and strength we need to be pleased with ourselves and admire in others. So mote it be, you see?

May 2, 2014

Love is (sex) Art

So rad!!! Someday I'll come up with an idea like that and make enough $ to just fuck in paint on canvases everyday for the rest of my life! That's a life goal if I ever had one ;)

Apr 14, 2014

I'm not privileged

Apr 5, 2014

Where to find the Easter Bunny this year!

Heartsinspyre Entertainment presents every 3rd Sunday of the month FETISH NIGHT for RESURRECTION at the Baltic Room sponsored by The Crypt, Pure Romance, & Devilish Photography, featuring go go dancing and burlesque performances by special guests as well as fire acts by Asraiya of Heartsinspyre. 

On 4/20 in honor of Easter & all the rampant Bunny activities happening in town this weekend, we decided to host A NIGHT AT THE PLAYBOY MANSION for our theme and it's the Unofficial Seattle BunnyCon Bar Hop day after After-Party.

Dress code is Bunny Ears, Smoking Jackets, pajamas, Celebrities, Models, chickens, eggs, bikinis, Zombie Jesus, Mary, or any dead religious figure Resurrected highly encouraged. BE CREATIVE! 

We're having another photo contest with Jason Renek from Devilish Photography capturing classic Playboy Mansion style poses as well as our FREE PHOTO BOOTH with Sam Stenson! DJ PsyOp will be spinning a mix of Goth/Industrial and EBM! Sideshow Ben will greet you at the door and booze served by the hottest bitches in town, Rita Hall Savoie & Ambyr Prince! Happy hour until 10pm. $1 beers (Busch or Rainier) all night.

Sunday April 20, 2014 9pm-2am
Fetish Night at Resurrection
The Baltic Room
1207 Pine St Seattle, Wa 98102
21+ w/ID $5 cover

Apr 1, 2014

Tinder is for starting a FIRE

Woah! A guy tried to confront me about my beef with kids saying I don't understand because once you have one they become you're everything... I said:

  I know. Maybe I want to be my partner's everything? I just had 2 really bad experiences with daddy's little princess and swore I would never do it again unless they're teenagers or young adults now and are already independent so I can be myself instead of a "role model". I'm down to be the cool aunt that takes them shopping at hot topics, provides the birth control and maybe a wine cooler but I'm really leery of the psycho ex who will never quite relinquish they're power over a man to manipulate him to do their bidding and remind me I will always be 3rd, 4th, or 5th on his list of priorities. I know that sounds selfish but I've seen way too many sad psycho dramas and I'm committed to living life to the fullest in the here and now and I'm not done yet! I live like there will be no tomorrow because there really actually might be no tomorrow! I can't pretend that society is good and healthy, that once you're 16 you get too get to drive an automobile, and if you get good grades and go to college you can continue to drive automobiles and make payments on a mortgage... That's not reality! That's as make believe as Barney. So I don't know what to say to kids but I'm sorry.. I'm sorry you don't stand a chance unless EVERYTHING changes immediately and I'm sorry no one will tell you this until it's far too late for you to do anything about it and by then you'll be just as addicted to consumerism as I am and you too will try to pretend you're not angry and everything is will be fine if you just find a mate and breed your own family and feed them Disney and forget about any other responsibility because they are you're everything....

Oops. Think that's enough tinder for one day. 

~ the bitter crazy cat lady

so let it burn!

Mar 16, 2014

eBay SCAM: The Tesla Shield by Life Technology

 In my pursuit to find a product that I can cheaply manufacture, that incorporates both my love of crystals and semiprecious gemstones with my artistic drive and sincere will to provide people with a service and product that resonates positively with me and my moral compass I stumbled upon orgone energy and what is known as orgonite. An orgonite is essentially just metal shavings and quartz floating in an epoxy mold along with other materials added to enhance the beauty and intentions of the piece chosen as chosen by it's creator. I am in the process of researching extensively both the marketability of the product and the scientific claims that this fun little craft project actually results in a device that absorbs negative electromagnetic radiation that is supposedly harmful to the human body so that by having one of these devices in your home (coffee table center piece usually in the  shape of a pyramid) or wearing or carrying a smaller one (can be made into a beautiful pendant piece or keychain) creates a vortex of positive energy that aids in mental stability and harmonic health conditions. I will not knowingly propogate another bullshit claim of "healing" and attempt to profit on the modern new age frenzy that hundreds if not thousands of other business savy website designers and con artists getting rich off of the general ignorance and gullibility  of so many new age enthusiast and the fact that the most thoroughly tested and absolutely undoubtably proven effective medicine available on the planet is the placebo effect. I personally am not so ignorant and I personally believe in karma therefore I can not and will not sell anything or make any claims geared towards selling something that I do not myself 100% believe in so I intend to use the scientific method to test orgonite until I myself am fully satisfied before making and posting a single thing for sale on eBay. 

an orgonite sold by Orgone Alchemy

So recently while on eBay I came across a scam using "orgone" as one of the keywords that is unbelievably extensive as to how much effort went into writing this ridiculously long and super pseudo scientifically worded product description that is 100% PURE FICTION claiming that this titanium capsule necklace contains microsphere particals discovered by some supposed scientist and this supposed super lab specializing in homeopathic medicine has obtained a patent on one of Nichola Tesla's inventions and yadda yadda and are selling these things probably mass manufactured in China for pennies for $99 a piece! They did do their research on Wikipedia picking up all sorts of real google-able measurements and terms used in the little known nor understood by the average consumer field of quantum physics so that when you check to see if such terms exist they do though they are incorrectly used in the context of the ad. I'll back my claim there in a moment.* Go ahead and have a look at one of their multiple listings currently up on eBay and now filling up over half the listings that appear in my saved search settings for "orgone."

Not only that, which you can in fact check for yourself if you look up, read, and comprehend some of those terms on wiki, but they have also gone the appalling extra mile by buying up and registering a bundled pack of web domains and set up a whole slew of webpages and PDF documents where their work of FICTION continues to ramble on more pseudo scientific essays so that if you run a search for one of their FAKE SCIENTIST and other made up factoids or one of the supposedly trademarked names for their supposed "technologies." I've found at least 10 so far to fill up the top 10 results on google that all appear to be penned most likely by the same single super web savy scammer who authored the above eBay listing. I'm not finished with looking into this and I will expose it for what it is to the fullest extent of my capabilities because I love people, believe in healing, and want to live in a world where I can earn an honest living making and selling an authentic product without competing with evil corrupt crafty crooks. Stay tuned!

**Update: Apparently it is much larger than I originally perceived! I found a thread on a conspiracy theory website forum from as far back as 2008 that started with a member complaining about a Google Ad that was appearing on the site for a Life Technologies Tesla Shield. It's an interesting read because it is quite obvious this Aurum Solis who I myself am personally familiar with from back in the myspace livejournal days.. is either an undercover participant in the discussion or at the very least most certainly found the discussion and USED IT AS MARKETING RESEARCH/ DEVELOPMENT. In the current complicated long product description on eBay as well as text on all the supporting websites such as there's specific material lifted off this forum discussion such as one idiot or perhaps "The idiot" suggesting a Caduceus concept for alternating currents or double DNA helix as the possible technology functioning in the Tesla Shield. Now Lifetechnologies claims to have trademarked something stupid sounding with the word Caduceus in it. He has a habit of mentioning familiar legit things in conjunction with other familiar legit things but pushed together is ridiculous if you in fact know what each of them are like Biogeological Accupuncture. Wtf? HAARP reference maybe.. Or Chakra Clearing With Pendulums.. ? That is not what a pendulum is used for whatsoever and to suggest such is like saying you're going to heat up your leftovers with your TV! *I will come back to the reference I neglected earlier where I discovered his use of a unit of measurement used for the distance between two points, extremely small amount of distance granted it's used to measure things on a subatomic level, is confused as a unit of energy or "light waves" and then makes further claims that humans radiate such and such amount of this unit and with use of the Tesla Sheild this "energy" is raised exponentially. I'll return with citation to wiki after I focus on my life awhile.# In the meantime here is the Forum Discussion of This Scam:

Mar 8, 2014

OK Stupid

I utterly can't can't believe I'm doing this shit again... Online dating! Wtf. Took a stab at this new one I saw on the news because it kinda made sense. I somehow accidentally bumped open an email in my junk box and reopened my OK Stupid account and immediately got the flood of "Hey how you doing this evening.." messages. After dabbling around without a little it all came back to me pretty quick my experience with it oh about 4-5 years ago! Users fill out a long ass series of political, moral, and situational multiple choice questions and then choose how their "ideal partner" would answer and then rate how important it is for them to respond that way supposedly creating a match percentage, as well as friendship, and enemy likelihood where the deal breakers may lay. It's a sophisticated algorithm that in theory should work great. But then I look back on the most fulfilling, dynamic, and passionate loves of my life and realize none of them would have scored any higher than a 70% match nor less than a 10% enemy with me because it wasn't our identical views of the world that gave us chemistry. It was our differences combined with shear raw physical attraction that made it interesting! OK Cupid was/is brilliant at finding me carbon copy thinkers as me who make excellent cathartic pen pals that unfortunately gets my hopes up that I've magically found someone spectacularly special amongst this sea of coded monotony. Then it all builds up to the big first face to face meet up or "date" that instantly deflates within the first 3 min (or 3 sec) when I realize despite all romantic intentions I'm simply not attracted to them. I have particular taste! At which point I either part ways with a disappointed puppy or manage to make a really decent friend. I've noticed it's the ones who usually manage to string along a conversation somehow long enough to suggest having a fuck it why not beer that I end up being more likely to find attractive enough to at least get laid before parting ways. The truth of the matter is regardless how we may deem it shallow you just can't substitute substance for sexual chemistry.

So this other app thing goes for the absolute opposite approach and users start out with selecting one to six of their Facebook images and without having the obligation to read those awkward unrealistic bios make snap decisions based on first impression appearances whether to pass or take and mutual acceptances then make you a "match" where you're then almost instantly prompted to try and strike up an IM style conversation with what extremely limited observational info you could ascertain. Yay! The site seems to attract nothing but baseball cap wearing, cheap beer swilling, jocko frat boy types mixed with the occasional geeky granola glasses wearing Seattle bearded hipster boy that always seem to carry little excess weight hanging over the waist of their khaki shorts. Not my type even remotely! No matter how much I might be entralled with someone's brain I am purely only attracted to the tall dark and handsome cliche with the added preference of tall, *thin* and handsome with *long* dark hair. Can't help it. It is what it is. The of course I lean toward the artistical musician type in black with black boots WAY more than the baseball cap, shorts, jerseys, and tennis shoes or hiking boots variety. Men who wear sandals is a deal breaker for me. Boots, barefoot, or go home! I'm ashamed to say...

So big strike out on the online dating scene except for running into online who I've had eyes on which perhaps will serve as a wake up call that we've been looking for what's already been there.. But likely it will take a whole lot more of horrible mistakes and experiences before we concede that way. Fml

Feb 26, 2014

OutLaw on Burning Man and What it's Become

I'm so sick of hearing about Burning Man!

It went from this (SF beach)..
I wish the LLC, whom everyone refers to as "Burning Man Org" which seems to be a derogatory term as far as I've seen.. had just cancelled it and retired with the copyrights still in their possession! So bad.. seriously! Then Burning Man could finally be an era we all look back on fondly in our memory and become stories we tell to our kids whenever they beg us to go to raves or whatever the kids are into these days.. Instead of being considered a community that has the right to decide for itself what to do with itself because the community has become a bunch of whiny lame ass self righteous dissenters who only want to talk shit about everyone and everything and not give any credit whatsoever to the people who worked their asses off half their life putting on the ONE THING IN THE WORLD THAT TRULY CHANGED THEIR LIVES forever.

To this (Black Rock Desert)..
But NO. I now have to listen to them whine about not getting tickets. Hear them boast about scoring tickets. See them beg and beg and beg for tickets for the next five fucking months escalating into a massive crescendo that will completely occupy my Facebook feed come the end of August and still not quit because they can post of Facebook from the goddamn playa now!? See! Even I who always stand up for the LLC/org members who are or were people I once considered close personal friends in addition to co-workers, have become a voice of dissent! Only difference between me and all the others I'm referring to is I hate burners instead of being a burner who hates the org. Actually the only difference between me and any of them is likely only in my eyes.. moment of clarity, eh? I'll readily admit when I'm wrong.. wish I could say the same for burners!

To this! (Black Rock City)
The difference between me and the dissenters is I ACTUALLY HAVE FIRST PERSON KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERIENCE TO BACK MY OPINION opposed to hearing some dude that managed to become a famous dissenter (ie. Chicken John) ex burner who has now moved on with his life but not before raising a whole lotta hell scrutinizing the way the org ran things and claiming all the while to be one of the "original burners" which is simply not true as his claim some kind of authority that gave him the right to an opinion. (edit: actually he was around in the first days on the playa apparently according to the article I sighted but then again it could just be him talking big as many burners are known to do) Always about the damn community.. The truth is I guess it has to be because I know from direct experience as a DPW Project Manager for 6 years no one can accomplish anything in the desert alone! It was only by being a team player I was able to rise to such ranks as I did and was able to lead my crew like a team thus creating a small exclusive community or rather "the winners" of such things as racing Tony's (Perez aka Coyote.. current Head of DPW) crew in completing our half of the city's intersection's in t-staking and installing street signs.. The original "burners" or community members back when it was on the beach in San Francisco is the majority of what was once called the Org and they have done the BEST they can with everything they were thrown! Here's a good fair article on Burning Man's History including sentiments of John Law who I hung out with on the playa one 4th of July weekend and agree he's crazy (as the anti-Law camp says) but also very knowledgeable of the terrain of the Black Rock Desert. He was on a mission to shoot out propane tanks though btw.. which is illegal and enforced by the BLM making my opinion of him as equally respectable as Danger Ranger an antithesis because such is the nature of a "radical self reliant" philosophy.

And from this..
The fact of the matter is that Burning Man is just TOO BIG!! Everyone use to be mad at how much they have to pay to go to it but what they didn't realize is how expensive to was/or is to put on! Of course now there's at least 10 thousand burners who want to go and are willing to pay as much as they ask but can't because it's TOO BIG so now they're all dissenters because they didn't win the (literal) lottery to have an opportunity to buy a ticket!? Then there's the burners who can't afford a ticket if they won the lottery (like me) talking shit about how those who can are selling out to the Man and the greedy LLC who's retiring soon and turning it over to most likely people who were dissenters for a long while and now are going to become exactly who they hated and make the exact same decisions once they understand the situation surrounding the decisions and the fact that the options are always either not have the event or the other option and they will grow to hate and blame the BLM as much as we did who is just a federal "org" put in charge of managing land that nobody wants because there's nothing productive to be done with it other than throw a big party on it and establish a temporary city that packs up and leaves because no one really wants to live there all year.

To this!
I wish I didn't have to have these conversations or write these blogs every year! It just makes me so mad all the things I have to hear that are simply uneducated inexperienced opinions and opinions are like assholes ~ they stink! Everyone should just get together with their own damn friends, get a permit, and go build and burn their own damn man and see what happens then!

Build your own damn man!

Feb 13, 2014

Enjoy the Show

Enjoy the Show by erikcchristensen
Enjoy the Show, a photo by erikcchristensen on Flickr.
Photo shoot at the Historic Everett Theatre with Erik Christensen 2/9/14...

Feb 6, 2014

The Original Demoness

of Aeterno Elementum the heavy metal opera by AraKus who starred in 4 major productions yet not a word nor image exist to show of her online anymore...

never forget the ones who believed in you and were there to see you through no matter what you did or do...

Jan 18, 2014

Read it. Do what thou wilt.

I don't know who this guy is but he just kicked my ass and I need to re-read this every single day until it sinks into me!!

Guidelines for attaining magical success

Written by David Bersson

Found at

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law

How many years are you going to waste reading that magick book? You've read it over, I know that, many times. What about the practical magick that balances your theory? What about the magical circle you meant to paint in accordance with Book 4. Didn't you mention once that you were going to see to it that your robe was sewn according to our instructions? Have you even done this yet?

I've seen it time and time again. A student will come to me for instruction and seem so very, very serious. The next thing I know this student will be asking questions of a nature that prove to me that his record coming will amount to nothing more than a profane diary of idle speculations with no real work. Yes, I've seen it time and time again. So-called aspirants who waste away the years, putting idiot obstacles in their path and finally sputtering out like a gasoline engine that has never been fueled nor properly maintained.

Look, I'm warning you of the outcome of your slack. You will wake up in 20 years and all your brothers and sisters will be five Grades ahead of you. You will be considered a loyal but lazy person whose life has been a lot of neat conversations at Feasts. Why sign the Oath unless you mean to fulfill it? How many incarnations do I have to keep coming back and telling you to concentrate on your priorities? Didn't we go through the same mother fucking problem back when you were Priest of Amen in old Egypt? Before that, I warned you of the same mother fucking problems in the ancient Kingdom of T where you were the Altar Girl of my desire but you never listened. Shall we go through the same mother fucking routine next lifetime when you are scheduled to assist me socially with the arrangement of the Temple of Maat?

You've gained a lot of occult knowledge with your studies. Its time you made use of it. If you can't understand a hint let me give you a blare. Here are some guidelines toward being a bit more pragmatic---

1. You must realize right from the start that Initiation CANNOT occur unless you have accumulated the necessary amount of magical energy. Therefore, the accumulation of magical energy would be a high priority.

2. Initiation will not occur in its purity unless you have cleansed your aura, sealed your aura, strengthened your aura, and enflamed your aura.

3. Keep your magical diary where you SEE it when you arise in the morning. Go to Liber E, Section I and follow these instructions closely.

4. Every morning when you get up, after your bath you go straight to your Temple. This means getting up a little earlier so you can fit everything in before leaving the house to go to your job.

5. Upon entering the Temple you should be able to do, (without reading from that damn paper),. the Star Ruby or some banishing ritual, Liber V, a License to Depart, (if you create one use the Goetia as your guide), and an Adoration to Nuit. This is a basic 30 to 45 minute magical practice session. Full length Invocations can be done after Liber V. Some of them you'll want to memorize, and some of them can be read from a paper. Yet your banishing, Liber V, a License to Depart and Adoration to Nuit should be memorized. You are memorizing items that contain all the basics of magick.

6. Your first magical retirement should be about three days long. Plan it out where invocations and rituals and reading are evenly done throughout your day. My suggestion is to do repeating ritual sessions to build energy and power. For instance, do 100 banishings in a row, 100 Liber V in a row, 100 License to Departs in a row, 100 Adorations to Nuit in a row during this first magical retirement. Like anything else, you get what you put into a working. Also, such a magical retirement means having a big pitcher of water so your throat will not become hoarse. Have your magical diary in your Temple with you.

I'm telling you this knowing you have the potential to do this and attain in this lifetime. Your first REAL Initiation will give you the self confidence that you are now lacking. I've seen many aspirants come my way. Some are capable of being inspired. I think you are in this class.

I look forward to the daily adventure of my Temple Workings. I always have some Magical Operation that I try to accomplish. In the back of my mind, and right from the beginning of my magical career, I've always looked at myself as this ancient sorcerer type attempting to learn magical secrets by constant experimentation. In fact, this "ancient sorcerer type" complete with all his leather books and strange sigils is the sum of the equation of the magician who takes the method of science seriously with his or her magick. Very amusing to still be so romantic about my magick but I do not see any conflict with such an attitude with ONE STAR IN SIGHT and Liber LXI. If anything, I love magick as much as I did when I first began reading on the subject so many, many years ago. Please ponder these words very carefully. I am, sincerely attempting to warn you not to put so many obstacles in front of your path.

More hope with an aspirant that can write poetry. At least with poetry some inspiration is occurring. I might add that no matter how I attempt to inspire you if you have no reception toward inspiration I waste my greatest efforts.

Love is the law, love under will

Jan 17, 2014

She of the Throne


   "You see me here, Lucius, in answer to your prayer. I am nature, the universal Mother, mistress of all the elements, primordial child of time, sovereign of all things spiritual, queen of the dead, queen of the ocean, queen also of the immortals, the single manifestation of all gods and goddesses that are, my nod governs the shining heights of Heavens, the wholesome sea breezes. Though I am worshipped in many aspects, known by countless names ... the Egyptians who excel in ancient learning and worship call me by my true name...Queen Isis."
Apuleius ~
The Golden Ass

We can live forever in the light

    "Metaphysically, the sun achieves a meaning to fourth through seventh density according to the growing abilities of entities in these densities to grasp the living creation and co-entity, or other-self, nature of this sun body. Thus by the sixth density the sun may be visited and inhabited by those dwelling in time/space and may even be partially created from moment to moment by the processes of sixth-density entities in their evolution."  
~ RA
The Law of One

Dialogue be damned

Whenever I reflect upon my short comings, paranoid thinking due to incidents of abuse in my formative years that shattered my trust, and the...