sweet Crowley, rest in peace, baby kitty

Alice Rose Crowley

10/3/2007 ~ 12/24/2011

It twas the nightmare before Christmas when my boyfriend broke up with me leaving me alone with nothing but my sweet kitty. Then all of a sudden she began acting strange and lo and behold she had a tumor or some sort of growth on her head we suspect was pressing on her brain causing her nervous system to begin to fail and she lost use of her front two limbs.. Sad! So on xmas eve the ex had to bring she and me to the cat hospital to put her to sleep. Please, let her rest in peace and please let the rest of this dreary holiday not be any more traumatizing. Please?

on xmas eve <3

 

Idiomorphisizing "Terrorism"

Terrorism: (noun)  

1. the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, especially for political purposes.

2. the state of fear and submission produced by terrorism or terrorization.

3. a terroristic method of governing or of resisting a government.

 

So it seems like the American government has a real chip on its shoulders about the whole Occupy Movement. That's okay because a house divided against itself can not stand and for the rest of us it may just be a blessing in disguise because we will soon hit the point of zero tolerance and start to change the language back in on itself. 

I CALL FOR ARTISTIC USES FOR THE WORD "TERRORISM"

If it becomes an overused meme then we don't know what it means.. actually I already don't since the "terrorists" are the ones waging war on "terrorism"! I hear by am terrorized by Congress, the President, and our Police force who swore to protect the Constitution yet are aiding and abetting the terrorist agenda which is threatening to remove all remaining "freedom" in the name of "protecting freedom"  

War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, and Ignorance is Strength

wake the dead

Too scared to sleep because I will awake to the shock of finding the most horrible nightmare imaginable, the one I thought couldn't be here, is real

only in my dreams..

fault line

Never let someone be your everything because then you will be left with nothing...

Oh my heart! My heart! My heart! Can not take this! Not tough enough! Not

Today is the day..

...that I made the Sun come out inside of me! Hey look, it's shining down on you, and everyone I see. Hold a grudge though and you will see a cloud but that Sun is shining no matter what you see. Let the rain come and tomorrow you'll see. The Sun will shine until we are free ~

image from jodyhatfield.com

 

Lastlight

if only I'd known it was my last I'd maybe done something different or at least breathed in the moment more fully...

It's colder than before
The seasons took all they had come for
Now winter dances here
It seems so fitting don't you think?
To dress the ground in white and grey

It's so quiet I can hear
My thoughts touching every second
That I spent waiting for you
Circumstances affords me
No second chance to tell you
How much I've missed you

My beloved do you know
When the warm wind comes again
Another year will start to pass
And please don't ask me why I'm here
Something deeper brought me
Than a need to remember

We were once young and blessed with wings
No heights could keep us from their reach
No sacred place we did not soar
Still, greater things burned within us
I don't regret the choices that I've made
I know you feel the same

My beloved do you know
How many times I stared at clouds
Thinking that I saw you there
These are feelings that do not pass so easily
I can't forget what we claimed as ours

Moments lost though time remains
I am so proud of what we were
No pain remains, no feeling
Eternity awaits
Grant me wings that I might fly
My restless soul is longing
No pain remains, no feeling
Eternity awaits

~VNV Nation

what if I give up on myself? what if I met thyself and decide she's a hopeless loser with no motivations in life? better than an agenda, right? still no fun to be around if you can help it...

Hello? Friends?

I need new friends! I realize I've been a bitter pill lately and it's mainly because I feel lost, alone, and unloved. I put a tremendous amount of weight on my partner because other than my parents I believe that he is the only one that cares about me therefore I depend on him for everything. I don't get it. I've always been extremely independent but more and more I've become less selfishly motivated. I was fiercely independent because I wouldn't allow someone to tie me down as there were always other things for me to do, see, place for me to be, people to meet but all those things were temporary. In the end they flew off quicker than I could stop and perch and then I saw others nesting and thought I should probably leave, no one wants to nest with me.. But is there a tree I could call my community? Is anything constant enough to not break off. I feel like deep roots without new leafs, no buds, no flowers ready for the termites to come devour. See.. bitter pill! :/

think I'm done with Occupy Seattle

I think I'm ready to quit Occupy Seattle. It's turning out to be nothing but an unproductive distraction! I'm all for a leaderless movement BUT everyone in that movement has to be hyper aware that if the movement is to have any kind of force each individual must take the utmost care to constantly establish and maintain organization. What I believe is OS's fatal flaw is that broke into Work Groups before ever having assembled. It didn't have solidarity to begin with nor did it wait until GA was at a critical capacity to deal with it's needs and issues and thus go through the process of proposing each and every issue or need of the whole group and explain reasons why they should be dealt with outside of GA in a newly established Work Group. It simply copied the list of WG's from OWS and immediately broke into a wide variety of self appointed leader made sub-assemblies staking their claims like they were gold mines and then disassociated themselves from GA as if their time was way better suited spent in WG (as understandable as it is unforgivable)..

This then paved the way for growth so that now newer members are told to join a Work Group to get involved and they are then either finding WG's that are already dictated by a core group controlling them who behave as they already have a grip on the situation and don't need any assistance (in which case why was the work group formed if it was merely a need for a few people's attention? couldn't the GA have elected a team of 2-3?) and/or refuse to listen to new ideas with an attitude of seniority (come on.. OS is barely 2 mo old) OR they hardly take the time to properly analyze and judge the existing WG situation while trying to integrate and instead march off to form their own new WG without as much as any kind of research or communication as to the need for and purpose of said WG and how it will contribute to the GA as a whole. As a matter of fact newer WG's have told me that you don't have to go before GA to get approval to be a new WG!?

So at this point THERE IS NO GA! No one is representative of anything established by the GA only, maybe ~ only if marginally committed to their own organization, representative of a segregated WG that has managed to undermine the weakly established, if you can even call it established, system of becoming a recognized OS WG who fails to communicate or recognize not only what their purpose and participation is aiming for and what they're responsibility is but also what other groups are doing and when to pick up slack, aid, collaborate, delegate, or back the fuck off!

For an example Media WG has suddenly, without communicating their intentions nor asking or offering assistance ect to Arts & Entertainment WG taken over booking and staging entertainment at Westlake permanently on Saturdays. Media? So it's basically whatever is released to the press is law I guess... great :/ See how this works? Media is a real winner! Check out this loophole they must have set up early on ~ GA passed resolution saying anyone talking to media or City on behalf of OS must first receive approval from GA. But if you call yourself "Media WG" then you must have approval then already, yeah? So what if (hypothetically) Media were to be infiltrated and corrupted by a covert entity? Well then OS would officially make an ass of themselves at best, at worst become completely undermined and overruled by their self appointed authority and whatever agenda they wish to play! What did we need a "media work group" for anyway? Some people made the movement look foolish when interviewed on camera while some others new how to handle their responses and paint a better face. So why didn't we seek to improve those who tended to fall short instead of cutting them off and telling them they weren't good enough to represent the 99%?? What are the qualifications we decided on were mandatory for someone to be an official media rep?

fail.

So I realize I may just be cranky from the Full Moon and I don't mean to pick on one particular WG so I apologize to Media for using them as a sole example.. but I'm frustrated!! And I can't tell where or what to do with myself to remedy the situation other than breach the topic somewhere and somehow.. so I blog for right now in protest of the protestors I guess.. Way to show solidarity (yes, I do recognize I'm being a hippocrite in some regards and I'll readily admit my own faults in all of this) but silence = slavery = death

whither the Demoness wails

There is no other day or night than this.
Thou shalt inspire the proud ones with infinite pride,
and the humble ones with an ecstasy of abasement;
all this shall transcend the Known and the Unknown

Thou art like a lonely pillar in the midst of the sea;
there is none to behold Thee
I too am the Soul of the desert;
thou shalt seek me yet again in the wilderness of sand.
Even as evil kisses corrupt the blood,
so do my words devour the spirit of man.

I breathe, and there is infinite dis-ease in the spirit.
Thou hast fastened the fangs of Eternity in my soul,
and the Poison of the Infinite hath consumed me utterly.

Then, O then call not to thy view that visible
Image of Nature; fatal is her name!
It fitteth not thy Body to behold
That living light of Hell,
The unluminous, dead flame,
Until that body from the crucible
Hath passed, pure gold!

There is a beauty unspeakable in this heart of corruption,
where the flowers are aflame.

Ah me!
The thirst of Thy joy parches up this throat,
so that I cannot sing.
Beckons, and with inverted torch doth stand
To lead us with a gentle hand
Into the Land of the Great Departed,

Into the Silent Land, I came to the house of the Beloved.
Therefore Thou art mine, even now and for ever and for everlasting. Amen.

darlin distracting

I'm fucking around with these pictures of JJ and I from last night when we were "dressed up" as goth kids for a costume party we were hired to perform fire at.. due to a lack of time/planning we figured no one would know we're often seen outside of Halloween dressed quite similarly... instead of focusing on finishing my Demoness monologue.

*sigh

Occupy Seattle: Day of 1,000 Umbrellas

Occupy Seattle

This is illegal in Westlake park in Seattle because umbrellas touching the ground constitutes a structure and since no camping is allowed then you're not allowed to have an umbrella structure if it's raining and you're say sitting and waiting for a bus...

Yes, it's utter silliness but somebody has to have fun and not be too serious about every single aspect of the 99% movement especially today, Sat 10/22, since there's a police brutality march happening earlier on.. So need mummery ~ I present to you, yours truly!

I dream of Djinni

If I could have 3 wishes I'd wish for:

~ 4-6 more hours in a day so I'd have time for 8-10 hours sleep, 3 square meals, laundry, grocery shopping trips, and sex...



~ an extra set of arms like Kali or Shiva so I could more effectively multi-task like carrying groceries, while smoking a cigarette, and type a text..








 ~ abolish all credit including the US federal note so that there would be a level the playing field for everyone here on Earth.

how to kill a revolution ~ follow a leader!

 Here's the link: http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2011/10/10/this-is-how-you-kill-a-movement

 

My comment #162:
Guys ~ you do realize that the system of having 2-8 official leaders elected to represent everyone in the state is precisely what is FAILING. The problem is that if there's only a few leaders at the top then that's only a few to bribe, blackmail, or otherwise corrupt and the people and their interests are no longer represented even remotely.. I keep hearing similar sentiments like this slogger:

"We are fully on board with the message of the 99%, but not with the people who believe the only valid way to make a decision is by consensus." ~Christopher Frizzelle

  How is that on board with the 99%? Either you, just like the city, are contradicting yourself or we find ourselves in a bit of a paradox. Believe me, I find the GA frustrating and annoying as can be but the fact of the matter is that if there are no leaders then it can't be corrupted, though it can creep and crawl and hardly accomplish anything. However, this movement is about change. Everybody fears change therefore is readily willing to defend their current way of life despite the fact that it's a futile facade..

   The OWS has already succeeded in that it's made us think about new models of governing ourselves! It's made us check our egos as to why we want to be in charge of something! It's made us decide if we agree, or don't agree, or don't care, or are prone to sitting on the fence only to decide according to what our peers think! That's pure and simply [R]evolutionary!

If the people lead then the leaders will follow. As much as I hate it I'm willing to test this theory because I'm sick and tired of following leaders while they follow whoever is the highest bidder... 

"None are so hopelessly enslaved as those who falsely believe that they are free." ~Goethe

who is the 1%

  So last night when I was walking around on stilts during the general assembly meeting of the Seattle Occupants a guy randomly approached me and asked "so how do you determine the 1%?" Not particularly a conversation I felt like having especially while hobbling on stilts (I prefer to cruise around so I work a larger group of leg muscles otherwise I'll cramp up and be sore as hell..) my first instinct was offense since I was obviously not on the same level as him so why did he so aggressive approach me 2.5' above him to dig into a debate with? Well, I suppose it could be argued that I had asked for it since the sign in hand said nothing but "we are the 99%". Being an absolute retard when it comes to mathematics and having no idea who or how those statistics came about nor did I bother to check my resources before selecting my signage, I do hereby declare myself a hypocrite AND will be sure my next sign says something I can get behind 100% but also give an intelligent rebuttal to any dissent. Plus I did attempt to research those quoted demographics today but I will humbly admit that I am not qualified to EVER speak in numbers assuredly as if they're actually factual stats!

  However this article in Vanity Fair (don't laugh.. it really is well written) Of the 1%, by the 1%, for the 1%
allowed me to come up with a much better response to that question without having to argue sources and fear of incorrect calculations. THE 99% ARE THE PEOPLE WHO GET 1 VOTE FOR THEIR LOCAL REPRESENTATIVE. THE 1% GETS TO VOTE ON EVERY SINGLE BILL THAT COMES THROUGH CONGRESS WHILE OUR NEEDS & CONCERNS ARE INSIGNIFICANT.
 

  Clear it up for you there, confrontational geek man? Good!

Bank Robbers of America

I got 2 different emails from friends this morning forwarding me this link to a news article about a petition to stop Bank of America's new $5 a month charge for using the debit card they issue for free since everyone I know knows how extremely unhappy I've been with feeling like my bank is trying to kill me (starving to death w/$100 in overdraft fees to pay off before I get back to $0 and can then buy food etc..) It's gone beyond the point of petitioning...  

I'M CLOSING MY ACCOUNT! 

In addition to the $5 a month for having a debit card and using it they are also charging $2 every time you use a non-BoA atm (that's in addition to the $2-3 atm machine's fee), charging $12 a month for checking and $5 a month for savings(!) if you don't maintain a daily average balance of $1500 for checkings, and a min of $300 in savings plus if you make more than 3 withdrawals or transfers in/out of savings you're charged a $3 excessive withdrawals fee ~ OMFG!!!?

cup of babalon

Back in 1996 I drew the Queen of Cups card and I've only now understood how it compares to my birthchart. "This Queen reminds you of the power you have to not just be who you are, but understand who you are and who you could be." ~Helen Howell

I'm claustrophobic..

..but more of people/energy than of objects or confined spaces. Might need a new word for that phobia now because science is finally starting to prove what I've been saying all along feeling crazy. I'm just a little ahead of the pack involuntarily such as I've had undeniable ESP capabilities since I was 6 yo. Anyway here, watch this!

 

Bravo! MSNBC on Police Brutality

Psychopaths who Occupy Wall Street

“Permit me to issue and control the money of a nation, and I care not who makes its laws.”  

~Amschel Mayer Rothschild

“None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.”  

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“Who controls the food supply controls the people; who controls the energy can control whole continents; who controls money can control the world.”  

~Henry Kissinger

  I read an on this psychology study on the psycho-pathological tendencies of brokers on Wall Street on my Discovery News iPhone app which was fascinating. About an hour later I came across a campaign to support the protesters currently staging the Occupy Wall Street campaign and decided to go back and retrieve the link to it AND IT WAS GONE!! So I'm now taking it upon myself to find what few sources still remain accessible to the general public NOW in the US and blog some quotes with links that I assume will still be available archives even though all the reputable major media companies are suddenly dropping these kinds of stories at unreasonable rates leaving them to appear as if they exist only in the minds of conspiracy theorists and criminally contentious activists. Honestly, who do you believe to be more insane, those who would control all the world's resources for their own greedy purposes and enslave the world's population in unnecessary perverse poverty? Or those who would call that a unconscionably corrupt conspiracy?

From The Huffington Post by Alexander Eichler (First Posted: 9/26/11 05:50 PM ET Updated: 9/26/11 05:50 PM ET)  

Stockbrokers More Competitive, Willing To Take Risks Than Psychopaths: Study

 

  A recent study from the University of St. Gallen, in Switzerland, goes one step further. The research, led by forensics expert Pascal Scherrer and prison administrator Thomas Noll, finds that professional stock traders actually outperform diagnosed psychopaths when it comes to competitive and risk-taking behavior.

  

  According to Der Spiegel, Scherrer and Noll had a group of 28 stockbrokers participate in various simulations and intelligence tests, and then compared their results to a group of psychopaths.

They found that the traders showed a higher degree of competitiveness than the psychopaths -- and that the traders were surprisingly willing to cause harm to their competitors if they thought it would bring them an advantage.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/26/stockbroker-psychopath_n_981950.html?view=print&comm_ref=false 

“I sincerely believe the banking institutions having the issuing power of money are more dangerous to liberty than standing armies“.  

~Thomas Jefferson

“It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning.”  

~Henry Ford

AE III pics

nobody

wants to leave this place behind.. now

be free!

say good bye <3

Free Numerology Reading: Life Path #11

You are what is known as a master number. The number 11 is the symbol of the spiritual seeker. Your purpose in this life time is to achieve enlightenment. Sometimes this is done by finding a teacher and other times it is a matter of experiencing an number of negative situations that are designed to rid you of toxic emotional connections and clear your karma. If you are a number eleven and seem to be having a rough time then keep in mind that is typical of your number to experience a life filled with mysterious losses and either very fortunate or unfortunate twists of fate.


Part of your trying experiences is the cosmos' way of pushing you into finding the spiritual awareness that you need to elevate your soul. The number 11 path is often called the Path of Extremist simply because you lead a life filled with so many highs and lows. You are often like two people. One life is your public life in which you might appear as an eccentric or unusual character and the other is your secret life, which is obsessed with finding the answers to eternal questions.

You are probably a fairly well educated person who is still looking for answers when it comes to spirituality. One of the character traits of a number 11 is to look far and wide for lofty spiritual answers when often the answer is right underneath your nose. As number 11's can be quite snobbish or proud of their status as a spiritual seeker the universe often presents them with many lessons that serve to challenge their pride.

You probably don't fit into society very well and have to do a lot of pretending and acting to survive in a normal job or relationship. You have unusual tastes and may have a bohemian character that is very interested in the new and avant-garde. Your broad-minded point of view and permissiveness with morals makes you lots of enemies and friends alike.

If there is one thing that your friends find frustrating about you it is that you are a bit of a fence sitter. Your ability to see so many angles of a situation often causes you to be indecisive or not to act at all. For this reason many 11's often let opportunities in life pass them by. They are so focused on being visionaries that they forget to pay attention to small practical details.

Your sharp intuition and rich understanding of both spirituality and human nature makes you the perfect spiritual counselor. Even if this is not your profession you have probably noticed that others naturally seek out your guidance and advice during a crisis.

You are a very idealistic individual and envision a world in which everyone is equal. For this reason you somewhat dislike the idea of relationships as they mean that one human should be more exclusive to you than another. One of your highest spiritual qualities is to make everyone that you meet feel like they are special and a soul mate.

If you are an 11, it is also typical for the needs of your personality to be in constant conflict with the direction of your higher self. You have probably noticed that you get away with a lot less than other numbers. For instance if you do a bad deed, the resulting bad karma seems more immediate. This is because your path is a path of retribution that is about the negation of the self to allow the higher self to be divinely inspired by a higher power.

when the fat banker sings.. run for the hills!

Just so we're clear.. Everyone does realize that the money does not exist, right? Never really did even.. It's supposedly legal tender or trade notes, IOU's essentially, for gold and silver bullion which is a pain in the ass to carry around in your purse apparently. Here ~


So this means that all those home loans, car loans, mortgages, and any other kind of "credit" was issued, offered, or loaned out by people who didn't really have anything whatsoever but a buddy who will hook them up with a continuous flow of paper making it seem like they're loaded especially since the big dollar amounts go on money orders and/or cashier's checks. The big secret maneuver of the banking business is the classic 'fake it until you make it'. They stood to gain a tremendous amount in interests to the extent that even future forecast of predicted interest earnings too would be printed on paper and beg/barter/bought/sold for a steal.. or so they thought.
I can't believe I didn't see it or rather it hadn't seeped in yet what this whole Comet Elenin scare & frenzy is really all about. The sky IS falling! Just figuratively more than literally. The economy is truly now on the verge of utter and total collapse!    "The federal agency that oversees the mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac is set to file suits against more than a dozen big banks, accusing them of misrepresenting the quality of mortgage securities they assembled and sold at the height of the housing bubble, and seeking billions of dollars in compensation." ~NY Times http://nyti.ms/pHuffD According to a documentary I watched earlier this evening the value of the dollar would need to decrease by a rate of 98% in order to equal the value of the current federal gold reserves (if they even really exists.. a full inventory count hasn't been done since 1971!) This means that if only 2% of the  cash flow including bank/savings accounts, mutual funds, and stock investments were suddenly cashed in as in WE JUST MARCH INTO OUR LOCAL BANK OF AMERICA AND SAY WE DON'T LIKE THEIR NEW FEE SYSTEM THEY'RE TRYING TO USE TO COMPENSATE FOR THEIR LAWSUITS.. WE WISH TO CLOSE OUR ACCOUNTS AND DO HEREBY DEMAND OUR GOLD BACK!!
that's it... collapse. 

FREEDOM! :D "None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. "  ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

lunatic pandemic

more conspiracy something.. won't insult science by using the word "theory" because this is pure lunacy! people will believe anything? it's completely baffles me. it's like they know change is coming or no.. it's like they're ready for a change, a very major change but they haven't realized yet that this change comes from within. they don't grok as above, so below. so they look up and so sincerely expect to see something off or unexpected and they welcome it because they really long for change but aren't willing to change their themselves nor the way they live so they expect some dumb comet, or planet, or mothership to come force them to evolve. can't wait til it's 2013 and everyone calls it y2kpsyche and laughs like they never believed it when the truth is change has come! you just create your own reality so if you're not willing to change you'll never see..

anyway about this video above.. page is full of people's comments about comet elenin (which is about 2-3 miles or kilometers wide max) is causing the moon to wobble or planet niburu is behind it and all that kind of shit. power of suggestion is potent. all of a sudden everyone else seems to recall having noticed it as well. no one mentions the fact that you can't see the ground to orientate your vantage point... yeah, fucking 2 second edit to flip a stupid video 90 degrees! really. easiest hoax in the whole entire known universe! what fools these mortals be

Conspiracy theories, oh my!

Question everything ~ This my philosophy! 

That means don't just question all the official stories and conclude that any alternate theory must be closer to the truth since there appears to be a conspiracy to conceal something.. No, question everything! Question your questions and your reasons for questioning a thing every bit as indiscriminately. Accept nothing as steadfastly verifiable evidence if you yourself did not personally bear witness to it and even then question the limits of what you can or care to perceive. Everything is a mere possibility as is nothing is purely infallible. Careful that you're not co-conspiring unconsciously.

There is information and there is disinformation but the existence of a contrary does not validate nor confirm that there's a conspiracy but only the fact that people are prone to repeat undisputed testimony. There are no experts. Always check your sources and re-investigate their facts. If your source lists their sources who also listed their sources then it's safe to say there's substantiated evidence but be certain to cite the source you claim substantial or you can be certain you'll get dismissed as editorial because otherwise you fail to demonstrate any integrity of intention which automatically makes it disinformation since you declined the opportunity for informed opposition. Trust no one who expects you to just trust them.

empath 101

You Scored as Certified Empath You are a natural born Empath! You are haunted by the calling of "the others" and walk in silence between the busy and the distracted. You qualify for certification by the School of Empath Psychology. From the Book of Storms Series newsletter on Yahoo! Groups. An Intuitive 94% Potential Empath 88% Unbonded Empath 75% Not an Empath 31%

You Scored as Judge You are a Judge Empath, one who is a "truthsayer". You can tell truth from lies, good from evil. You do not tolerate wrong doing. You are a defender of the good and the innocent. You are kind and merciful but do not play foolish games. (from "The Book of Storms" by Jad Alexander at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Empaths/) Traveler 100% Judge 100% Shaman 90% Artist 90% Universal 85% Healer 85% Precog 75% Fallen Angel 60%

Gigs, gigs, gigs!

Tonight! Then Fri or Sat (gotta check) gig in the Bremerton area, Mike's friend's party of something to that extent.. Then Mon 8/15 ~

Then.. Aeterno Elementum III pay what you can ~

Then hopefully I'll get back to working on GSBL!!