Feb 13, 2007


Today is the day I'm suppose to be happy that I was born. If I can pull it off supposedly some other people may be too and we'll celebrate it together. *sigh* I'm certainly not holding my breath so theoritically it's my voluntary will to maintain what's called life. Hmm- it's a start. Why is it that I feel like I need external appreciation for my existence to be thankful for being able to provide it? For my joy is your joy! Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to whowhateveritisIam- Happy Birthday to me!

Feb 6, 2007

Miracle Masochism

I so can't wait for the next time someone silly seeks me out for assistance on their path to spiritual enlightenment. I made it though a saturn return in cancer, had a year and a half now to reflect on it, kept myself true to my oldest commitment- that's a qualifying accomplishment if I've learned anything whatsoever for the life I've lived. The first thing I plan on telling my seeker of priviledged secrets is "the road to hell is paved with good intentions." Ha! Still find it ridiculous that one turned out to make perfect sense...

I actually must be extra dense to have had things things taught to me so blatantly obvious in method. For an example I spent seven years trying to understand why I was convinced my soulmate "the love of my life" is this guy named Freedom. Yeah, seriously- "I'm in love with Freedom why won't he be just with me?" or better yet "if you love him set him free!" You have gotta be fucking kidding me?! Nope, all the corny cliches are entirely true that's why they stick in your head to annoy the shit out of you and our language was carefully developed to seem to irradicate itself.

At the wise old age of 19 I suddenly stuck my finger in the air to say "excuse me universe, I'm new here. Hi, I'm in kinda a hurry and I don't have time to waste taking math classes to get a piece of paper that might not earn me more paper that I supposedly need to live. Apparently it doesn't grow on trees so we kill them because this is more important than fruit or oxygen.. so it is adamant that I learn how to manifest this stuff and I'm confused why I'm not capable of cutting down my own tree, why my labors would be worthless."

"It's a Miracle!" it said "if you believe it you won't be disappointed in the world you live." So I learned of a place called Miracles Cafe where I could volunteer to work and possibly learn how miracles are made and the nature of the destiny I posess. I dropped everything to heed the calling and have never been disappointed in the world at all but sometimes morbidly myself though I've tried my best. I know you don't believe I'm totally serious- must be some cryptic code I hold the key to and you're suppose to just guess, no place has ever existed where miracles happened daily and no problem wasn't solvable with only love and trust except for how to pay the rent on the threshold of a vortex with a different kind of barter system.. Well, I bet you can find some record of it if ya google it- ran by a Miracles Entertainment Inc. or a naive, freeloading, hippy communal depending on how you looked at it.
Miracles Cafe
800 High St
Bellingham, Wa

Or maybe I am truly crazy instead of everyone else...

Dialogue be damned

Whenever I reflect upon my short comings, paranoid thinking due to incidents of abuse in my formative years that shattered my trust, and the...