Dec 11, 2016

Surrounded by Angry Ghosts


It's one thing to ignore the person who only texts late when they're drunk & horny and never early to invite you to drink.. but this ghosting thing is so hurtful, disrespectful, and damaging!! After spending a significant amount of time with a person and by that I mean simply more than one occasion, it's simply not okay to quit people like they're a job you think hasn't paid enough or you got a better offer so skip out without telling them you believe you're worth more. People who care about you will worry that you're hurt or in trouble!! People who care about you deserve a conversation; an opportunity to make a counter offer to show they appreciate you more than you thought, or to change the current state of affairs to a new understanding, a compromise if you will that acknowledges the fact that they are a person who you shared a bond with that needs to change for your own happiness but perhaps the bond will turn into a sustainable friendship in the long run instead of a disconnecting slash to an wounded and covered in blood kind person who did nothing wrong but try to find a connection.

People can change, y'all. If we keep severing each other for having a bad day and feeling week and needy while someone else exudes sexy confidence that day and we can't feel both at once so cut the lesser out.. we'll all have absolutely no one and all be so sensitive and slaughtered that no one will ever accept us because the effect is cumulative and none of us deserved to be abandoned for wanting love!!!

Dec 7, 2016

My Special Selfie is really actually Steiner

This was suppose to be a "self summary" on a singles site that I registered on while doing business research for an event idea I'm thinking of producing next month.. but as you can read apparently I am the reincarnation of Rudolph Steiner:

Oh dear, what can I say? I'm really special! 

Before you go deciding that I must be a total narcissist from that, maybe I meant "special" as in "special ed" or "special olympics"? Indeed, I did ride the short bus for special people in elementary school once a week to be in the program where we did brain teaser puzzles to challenge us since long division wasn't enough. Actually I suck at abstract notions as numbers greater than the amount of dollars I will ever need to manage to spend (not a lot at all..) but I am hyper aware of more real but less substantiated subjects as the collective human subconscious. This is where I aim to effect change through my art and what I am is truly an artist who relentlessly strives to (not starve) fulfill my destiny as a member of the circus of the sun!

Now just wtf do I mean by that exactly? A lot of things both physically real and ethereally pre-ordained. Now is when I start to sound really special! If you can not fathom a universe where both a God (actually most likely a Goddess since we are made in her image and she gave birth to the world) and a scientific beginning big bang simultaneously co-exist then you might as well stop right here. I don't enjoy playing the jester as words are so very faulty when it comes to truth defined to have a meaning or a means to offend and humans are so horribly designed to be judgmental as a survival instinct gone horribly wrong and mass misperception given way to monumentally mad convictions. Our brains are programmed to make an initial short as in 3-5 second assessment and then categorize as yes or no, safe or danger, friend or foe. Nothing closes the door to our infinitely more advanced brainwave capabilities quicker than our preconceived notions like who instantly deemed me an arrogant narcissist, or "special" was offensive even though it wasn't "retarded", then I admitted that my high IQ is a social hindrance, now I'm attempting to define a higher consciousness to whom I gave my life in service yet I'm sure many a Christian male tuned out at mention of "goddess" assuming I'm one of those feminists or pagan demoness. It's true. I am both but it doesn't take much intelligence to understand the deity know as God simply can not be omnipotent and labeled with a limit like gender. Also She/theM said "let there be light" ~ BANG!!!

That my most humbly open minded, dear reader, is a fact we know in our hearts. Every time it beats we feel it course through us as we our manifestations of that one light. So I am cursed to walk this earth with a torch seeking to shine into the dark recesses of human ignorance and unconsciousness and worse, intentional attempts to disconnect from the source and instead consume it. The black monster of the abyss is real in all it's myths except for the one about Lucifer but we won't get into that other than I'll leave you with the fact that Lucifer means "bringer of Light"* My notion is more readily described by Steiner in chapter 21 of The Theory of Knowledge Implicit in Goethe's World Conception:

"The object must be lifted entirely out of the sphere of chance and transferred into that of necessity. Nothing must remain in the artistically beautiful upon which the artist has not impressed his spirit. The what must be conquered by the how. The overcoming of the sense-perceptible by the spirit is the goal of art and science. Science overcomes the sense perceptible by dissolving it entirely into spirit; art does so by implanting spirit into the sense-perceptible."

πŸ’ͺπŸ’«πŸ˜πŸ’πŸ’₯πŸ’¨

Nov 7, 2016

Poem: Grounded

If anyone knew how many times I've been knocked down
They'd be amazed to see me not splattered on the ground 

My heart has been hamburger served for lunch. 
But my spirit stands strong and it keeps walking on. 

All I know of my destiny is one day the earth will swallow me.  I'm only here if I breathe and it's not because I believe!

My bones have all broke from the weight of the sea.
The waves rain down, on top of me they pound. 

Your judgement is lost when found, sticks to the ground. 
Find me in the trees because this is where I am free to be. 

Oct 26, 2016

Sep 26, 2016

Trump uses basic psychology tactics to spread propaganda

ON ADOLF HITLER:
"His primary rules were: never allow the public to cool off; never admit a fault or wrong; never concede that there may be some good in your enemy; never leave room for alternatives; never accept blame; concentrate on one enemy at a time and blame him for everything that goes wrong; people will believe a big lie sooner than a little one; and if you repeat it frequently enough people will sooner or later believe it."*




ALL TRUMP DOES IS REPEAT HIS LIES A MIN OF THREE TIMES AND THEN DEFLECT THE BLAME ONTO HILARY OR OBAMA. THIS IS HOW THE HOLOCAUST WAS PERPETRATED. ALSO HOW DESERT STORM OR OPERATION IRAQI FREEDOM AKA THE IRAQ WAR WAS BEGAN BY GEORGE W BUSH THIS WAY AS WELL BY REPEATING THE WORDS "WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION" UNTIL ALL OF CONGRESS BELIEVED IT. OBAMA AND CLINTON DID NOT COMMIT 9/11 ANYMORE THAN IRAQ HAD NUCLEAR ARMS BUT INSTALLING THAT FEAR MADE EVERYONE GO ALONG WITH THE PLAN. WHY? BECAUSE THEY REPEATED IT ENOUGH THAT NOBODY QUESTIONED IT ANYMORE. THIS IS WHY TRUMP HABITUALLY REITERATES EVERY LIE HE SAYS OVER AND OVER BANKING ON YOU BEING TOO DUMB TO NOTICE IT AND JUST BELIEVE HIM OR BETTER YET START REPEATING IT AS WELL. HE MANEUVERED THE REPUBLICAN NOMINATION THIS WAY BY REPEATEDLY CLAIMING HE WAS AHEAD IN THE POLLS. THIS IS A FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPAL USE IN PREDICTING STOCK MARKET TRENDS AND HOW BILLIONAIRES MAKE MILLIONS ON A DAILY BASIS. SPOOK THE PUBLIC INTO SELLING AND BUY LOW THEN FLIP IT BY BROADCASTING BIG SALES AT WHICH POINT YOU SELL IT RIGHT BACK TO THEM AT HIGHER PRICES. ITS CALLED HERD MENTALITY ~




Herd mentality, or mob mentality, describes how people are influenced by their peers to adopt certain behaviors. Examples of the herd mentality include stock market trends, superstition and home dΓ©cor. Social psychologists study the related topics of group intelligence, crowd wisdom, and decentralized decision making.





Jun 5, 2016

Get off my lawn!

  Sitting on my patio after a good meal, just cracked open a superbly chilled beer, I flash backed to Burning Man. There's so many parties around me all with windows wide open, it reminded me of when I just got done working an 8 hour dispatch shift back at the depot. No fanfare there. Just Emery walking in the door saying' "You're free! Go party!"

  I growled or snarled and issued multiple expletives at the notion and said that all I want is an ice cold beer and to turn my goddamn radio off. "OutLaw clear and off com.. no wait, Simon. Simon. Will you come pick me up in the Temple of Golf Cart? NOW, please! Clear.. an off com."

  After Simon torturing me, like only he could do so well.. and a run in with Washoe County Sheriffs Dept pulling us.. making us stop because we were for doing doughnuts in the middle of the ghetto and I had an "open container" in a golf cart which is, we were reminded, a motor vehicle. I had to pour out my cold Sierra Nevada for which I was displeased. That was a long 10 mph drive, with traffic 5 mph, trip down 5:30 and to the other side of Center Camp (behind First Camp) with me maniacally switching back and forth between cursing the alcohol/girl abuse and laughing at the idiocracy of being pulled over in the Temple of Golf Cart. 

  We arrived back to an abandoned Bunnywood/Bollywood (i.e. Raspa and Lady Bee's Art Dept grouping also secret home of the Junior Staff Meeting) and I grasped another cold Pale Ale and flipped the cap off and... in walked a pile of ridiculously dressed in holographic panties with pink and purple fur coats and nothing else even though it's 40-50 degrees raver hippies announcing themselves with "IM A BUUNNNIIIIIIEEEE!!"

  That was the comment. I wished for that moment I had a pistol at least because, we were surrounded! "Arrgh.. go home ya damn hippies." They left and I remembered I work for this rave party thing and that's annoyingly the coolest thing ever. Some things never change...

 ~ OutLaw
DPW A Team 2000-2005
😜
peace.

May 18, 2016

Addiction is a chronic disease because the recovery is invisible

Addiction is a chronic disease because the recovery is time is longer than mending broken bones, while the brain healing process of recovery is completely invisible. People think of recovery as just the detox process and afterwards you're "normal" again but what they don't realize is you're only half normal, without the drug you are now only capable of thinking as fast as a tired, cranky teen and your body keeps walking into walls and can't keep up with you. This is why rehabs are so long but they are also very isolating, this damages patients ability to form community bonds which they will have to later rely on. Having a network of support is critical to successful recover, this everyone agrees upon so why is building an understanding & aware community of the science on recovery seem to be a missing step or branch of this tree? Replaced by stigmatism and further isolation as AA is suppose to be the healthy community support while it brain washes people into societal class submissions of "addicts" and "normies", which serves no purpose but to dehumanize victims of the pandemic to never gain functional recovery as connection to community is once agin crucial to effective recovery. Addicts are taught to be invisible so they fester together like lepers instead of encouraged to integrate towards a more positive surrounding of companions and possibilities.  

The opposite of addiction is connection. I think the connection to alcoholism and the blatant denial of stage 4 alcoholism is what gives recovery a death sentence but addicts can recover! Where there's a will there's a way, not to be cliche, but by all means!! 93/93/93

Apr 17, 2016

Dear Universe,

I'm tired of always feeling like I'm swimming up stream, against the current,  breaking through locks, and flipping over damns despite the doubters, shit talkers, narcissists, and step climbers all alone while everyone else rides the easy train and then brags but it's not about them. I know I thrive on challenge and beating the odds but I need and want LOVE, loyalty, and support because the challenge alone isn't BIG enough. WE can do better than this! We can do GREAT things. We were meant to live the TEAL TRUE WILL OF THE DIVINE UNIVERSE, which is the #godgoddess #shivashakti I am ready to unite the worlds! Not hide and hibernate waiting on a paycheck that never arrives, and a costume that doesn't show up on time, and no safety net the morning of... Bring me my fucking partner now! It doesn't have to be this hard, it shouldn't be this hard.. or well it should be hard in a very, very good and satisfying way ;) No more sleep deprived stress but sleep deprived bliss. Okay? Thanks. Namaste ~


 .'.Asraiya.'.Ma

Mar 10, 2016

Dear exclusive talent agency

Dear greedy bastards aka my Former Talent Agent,

  After a long heartfelt consideration, I have decided to sever my association with the agency due to the fact that I am unwilling to sign and adhere to the agency's new contract terms at this time. I intend to seek out and acquire new representation that does not request me to sign an exclusive contract as the only viable option for me financially is to remain able to seek out work on my own in order to cover my living expense. Given the fact that my talent is my only means of earning a living and my income does not exceed my minimum requirements, I can not afford to pay commission fees on work I find myself nor hand over sole responsibility of seeking & acquiring it until such time that paid work is either in abundance & consistently available in the area or my rate of pay has been negotiated & increased to a level that would warrant an exclusive arrangement like if I were to meet SAG requirements. Basically it doesn't make sense for me to be exclusively starving and homeless while having to pay for the privilege of a public portfolio listing while not keeping all earnings that come as a result of the investment. As a business, there doesn't seem to be any benefit in the arrangement as it merely agrees that I have to pay for all costs while giving up a percentage of the return on my investment on top of serving as a commodity being bought and sold by the agency since the contract would have me agree to pay commission even when the agency receives a fee for providing personnel services on top of earning affiliate income on sales of the overpriced casting website listing meaning you invest absolutely nothing into me and profit off me threefold. I'm saddened to be told this is industry standard as it appears to be economically a step backwards towards slave ownership rather than an industry that could surely afford to provide honest living wages for the labor and love of talent. 
*********************************yikes! 😬

Revised version after getting my emotions in check:

Dear Talent Agent,

  After a long heartfelt consideration, I have decided to sever my association with (agency's name) due to the fact that I am unwilling to sign and adhere to the agency's new contract terms at this time. I intend to seek out and acquire new representation that does not require an exclusive arrangement as it's the only viable option for me financially until such time that my earnings are equal to my means and needs. I appreciate the service that you offer and the need to maintain a profitable business but as I also consider myself a business as your contract suggests, I do not find that the benefits outweigh the costs for me personally so it would be unwise for me to agree to those terms. I wish you nothing but the best moving forward and thank you sincerely for the knowledge and experience I have gained from my first dealings with an agency. (This is starting to sound like a dear John letter..) You'll always be my first! <3 Thank you ever so kindly. :)

Sincerely,
 Asraiya 


PS. DEAR BLOG READER: 
This is the nicest and politest I'm able to be out of respect for what's known as "professionalism". Thank gawd I do have a sense of preservation! However I'm publishing it to the interwebs in hopes that it will enlighten other aspiring actors saving them from literally the toils and torment as I described that I had to go through being unable to find advice from others in a similar position as no one else is willing to speak out for fear of retaliation as everyone is told that your reputation will make or break you in the industry and its very easy to be blackballed. I look to those who's work and careers I most respect and say that I beg the differ!! None of the greats have ever forged their way by playing it safe. On the contrary, they made intelligent decisions at each and every critical moment. When they found something not working out for them, they changed it! How else do you expect to break out of background? Yeah, seriously! I was being asked to be an exclusive background actor (extra) if you can believe it... woosh

Namaste. πŸ™‹πŸ»

Mar 5, 2016

Copyright Infringement on YouTube and Public Domain

My response to this fantastic article on the title subject: (read first ~ www.makeuseof.com/tag/favorite-video-disappeared-youtube/ )

photo: a live "air duet" or lip sync performance by me and Garth from Airpocalypse aka burlesque performer "Les Manley" copyright of photographer and in video form would be media owner of the musical content selection who is not Cyndi Lauper and The Hives...

If I had a nickel for every video uploaded onto YouTube in just one hour of one day, properly invested and carefully handled, I could live out the rest of my days on earth without being required to do labor for my food & shelter and thus survival. But unfortunately I am just an artist and original content creator who's talent almost entirely relies on collaborating with other artists or licensing content, gaining their permission, or claiming fair use of the copyrighted content of my videos based on the fact that my audience is viewing them strictly to see my artistic interpretation of any other copyrighted work I might use as my muse at any given moment and not to listen to my audio playing in the background. I am a dancer, choreographer, actor, and theatrical performing artist which means I am possibly the epitome of legally screwed when it comes to copyright laws because technically if it's not my camera and is a public performance I don't own it, and if it is my camera because I'm smart.. but there's any sound whatsoever picked up on my video footage like a 20 year old Depeche Mode song on the radio of my next door neighbor's house, some huge ass media conglomerate corporation (and not the band btw) automatically is set up to receive my $ buck and some change each month if I don't want to or can't afford to pay my legal fees in court. Actually it pivots on the likelihood that I'm too dumb or scared to know that my choreography or expressed opinion and therefore authored statement to which I'm free to publish and distribute for profit all I'd like provided there is a demand for it and simply not contest it and allow them to take all the revenue just feeling lucky my YouTube account isn't in jeopardy because that would be embarrassing and if I lost my gmail or something I'd cease to exist entirely and die from starvation or my lack of social media attention ~ *omg the horror!!? Heh

THE SYSTEM IS BEYOND BROKEN.. AND WE HAVE A HELL OF A CLASS ACTION SUIT FOR RETURN OF OUR AD REVENUE actually.... Depeche Mode song 20 years old? Are they alive still? I agree after 20 years it should be public domain for public use without distribution rights (manufacturing and selling copies on a cd rebranded as nostalgia). Even "top secret" military classification expires after 50 years and despite the origin of any pop culture icon it eventually becomes the public's reaction to it more than it ever was any kind of copyright-able content no matter how much was spent on the making of it! IT'S A MEME. 

Jan 7, 2016

secret AWESOME archive VIDEO of epic fantasy rock opera staging




Randomly found this AMAZING ORIGINAL EPIC FOOTAGE uploaded onto my google+ account.. which I'm excited about because it's part of the archive that all traces of was removed from existence because of some drama... I won't go into detail other than it didn't involve me in the slightest but was very upsetting for me personally on top of the already completely crippling heartbreak & abandonment but anyways, I'm uploading this here as I have every right to use it as found footage taken by Brad's father who had permission to film his son acting, and I received an okay from Andrea, plus Jeremiah gave me permission to present whatever I have as part of body of my work as an actor on this project and it's part of an era of my life that I will always cherish and be very, very proud of as well!!

This was the 3RD staging of the full run of AETERNO ELEMENTUM: THE HEAVY METAL OPERA BY ARA'KUS @ HISTORIC EVERETT THEATER in SUMMER of 2011

This clip begins with acapella choral piece, newly written "Silence and Darkness" sung by lead soprano Andrea A Williams & chorus, a dialogue scene with the Priest and Generals, then the first ever staging of the Fire General as "The Actor" combining the samurai element with a kabuki theater sordid love affair with the shogun's wife (my idea I must claim! since I was never credited for contributing ANYTHING as far as the "official" online history goes where to this day there's no mention of my name except for John the writer credits me for providing photographs before describing how vastly improved the show is now compared to last.. not insulted by that but I do think it's fair that I'm recognized and listed somewhere as THE ORIGINAL CAST!) the intro for "LURE OF THE FLAMES" ~ THE FIRST TIME WE EVER GOT TO USE FIRE ON STAGE ~ Huzzah!! heh.. Cheers :P ~ Asraiya

official website ~ http://www.heavymetalopera.com

Dialogue be damned

Whenever I reflect upon my short comings, paranoid thinking due to incidents of abuse in my formative years that shattered my trust, and the...