I believe in love at first sight

I'm cursed. I'm in love and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. No matter how unreasonable it is to feel this way already, I am. He's not. He makes me want to be a better person, the best me, someone worthy of being a good equal partner to him. There's no point in browsing tinder. There's only one him, the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I'm smitten and also hurting because he is and I don't have a clue what I can do but wait. For the first time in 6 years my ex was replaced in my dreams so I went to meet him. It was the cutest thing I've ever experienced ~ utterly adorable!! So now it's too late. I have no choice but to hope I don't get crushed, seems inevitable. I don't care. For him I'll wait as long as it takes...

Leap and the Net will Appear ~

Heartsinspyre Entertainment is bringing the circus to town so you get to find a date!

Because SINGLES EVENTS SHOULDN'T SUCK. So take a chance and risk some fun for once, eh? We'll see you there! K peace

Revenge of the Banana!

Hold on to the good times while you're included because you never know when nor why you might be ostracized. But if you do find yourself on the outside for no apparent reason despite showing nothing but loyalty.. the best revenge is simply your continued SUCCESS! The proof of which will always be self evident. So don't be a jerkface ever because when all is said and done, you don't want to look back and question your intention. If you're a follower and treat others shitty because you're preoccupied with what others might think.. can't be associated with someone you perceive an outsider? People won't remember your associations. They will remember, however, how you made them feel! Best to be real and true to the right side of the story because you never know if that camera crew documenting for some school project might turn into a nationally released major movie.. Memory is a funny thing! It's so fucking weird to watch yourself on a big screen and realize how fuzzy and foggy the details are of just a typical random night of your life 2 years before. I only had the vaguest recollection of Josh saying there was gonna be a camera crew there one of the many nights we spent at the Rebar.. couldn't remember if it was one of the 2 or 3 I was asked to McFondlette. I only slightly wondered if there was maybe a chance I would show up in the film figuring I'd probably get a quick "woo!" split second spot from in the audience since I was there a lot. I would have been satisfied as such. Boy, was I surprised to find my screen time was closer to 5 whole minutes than 2 seconds! Even here in the preview is me obviously hamming it up for the camera and yet I swear I don't remember them being there except for (after seeing it on the big screen last year at SIFF ~ Seattle International Film Festival) in the green room at the end when we were saying our good byes at the end of the night. To say I'm a method actor would be an understatement! It's true that I can only contribute this to the fact that I was no longer in character in that scene.

Life's a trip... don't be a dick (or a banana ~ same/diff)!

Freelance Nightmares

So supposedly we have a new world order in the job market and methods of seeking income in trade for your skills and services. Sure, I have been a "private contractor" for awhile now getting hired to be a performer at parties or provide entertainment services or working as a brand ambassador or hired by temp agencies. This has been all fine and dandy however when I started a few weeks ago looking to supplement this meager income that's earned me no more than $10 grand a year EVER so that I might actually break out of mere starving artist status, IT HAS BEEN A FREAKING NIGHTMARE!!!

First of all there's tons of bloggers out there who live off of affiliate income and will affiliate with anyone. It's actually a lot easier and likely more profitable to just sign up as an affiliate and start recommending and funneling traffic towards a website from the millions of desperately seeking searchers online just like myself. Just because a blogger (or writer/reporter since there's no difference between news and "news") says that something pays people for doing things certainly does not mean it will nor that the blogger tested that aspect before saying it. So far from my experiences the majority that do actually pay you, only pay you pennies or are completely flooded with decently skilled workers living in India where pennies may work out to be of some actual value in currency exchange. In America where even the lowest minimum wages are $5 an hour which is still not anywhere close to substantial compared to cost of living, these are scams! Slavery has been abolished already...

I'm going to start blogging about each and every experience so that if you are like me then perhaps I can serve you with a warning to avoid them! None of us like wasting our time. 

Stress kills and this overwhelming feeling I get every day that passes me by that I have not achieved my goal of simply having more money coming in than going out of my bank account is not improving.

scam #1: Spare5

This one was recommended in a book I found on Amazon called Active Income Streams and as you can see after a good long hard evening I have earned myself 61 cents.

scam #2: Freelancer.com

Now this one I found surprising! I used this site to hire some Indian graphic designers and bought my logo, some posters, and other really cool designs from people before so I when I decided to give it a shot and turn the tables from being a cheap American starving artist/business owner to an "okay I'm really fucking starving now" freelancer willing to do just about anything for work it was not so pleasant. I got hit up to be a webcam girl aka "special chat friend ;)" on skype for $250 and #suckit I mean #shutup when I hit accept figuring that every hiring person would be as kind as I was when I offered to pay the runners up in my logo contest consolation prizes.. so nothing bad could happen if we just discussed stuff in sorta person, right? Wrong. I immediately received a notification from paypal that I PAID FREELANCER -$25!? Yup. Apparently they just go right on ahead and collect their 10% commission on your future to be completed and then approved and then transferred and hopefully released to you income!! Get this too ~ an employer can delete a job listing/offer for $5 so in theory you could potentially do the work or chat porn thing and then go to collect your completed payment and it's long gone leaving you with nothing to even try to dispute that you are owed. Omfg, and no.. this did not happen to me because I was already freaking out about my lunch money being gone to pick up my skype calls. I'm just sick that I'm going backwards and decided to quit for the night and write a blog instead.

PS. There's no affiliate codes in this blog entry but I think there's ads on my blog that have earned me a grand total of maybe 40 cents in the time it's existed so don't click em if you don't want me to get a fraction of a penny from google or amazon. Cheers ~