Got to have Faith

  My transiting aspects of astrology is almost impossible to interpret without advanced knowledge + skill and even then the experts will have to spend quite a bit of time in contemplation to fully grok it and be able to explain to me what's going on. My dear friend, Austin Coppock, was at a loss when I was freaking out with irrational bouts of anxiety from the triple conjunction (Neptune, Jupiter, Chiron) sitting precisely on top of my Sun sign while my in my Probationer year which written instructions had me practicing Resh. To his credit all the expert astrologers were still struggling to explain the newly discovered Chiron and how that triple conjunction was effecting the population in general, much less someone who was personally activating her highest powers with it in precise alignment. Jupiter in Aires is the strongest aspect in my chart. Well, some would say my moon in Cancer but I say that there's nothing strengthening about having your Moon precisely conjunct Saturn and opposite Venus. I have a double T-square or conjunct T-square.. don't think there's a name for it because I doubt it's common enough. So any would be computer generated horoscope interpretation is never quite correct because it fails to consider all the oppositions causing things to cancel each other out or be way more significant or just different and almost unexplainable. Complicated is a word that maybe scratches the surface. I'm use to knowing things without an explanation for why or how. I know something AMAZING IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.

Jupiter Square Venus 0.33 -109

Jupiter Opposition Jupiter 0.34 -187

Saturn Trine Jupiter 0.55 80

Uranus Conjunction Jupiter 0.38 300

  

  I feel really strange! Oddest sensation EVER is your heart on fire with a rush of chills from head to toe simultaneously. Thought maybe I was hungry but couldn't feel my stomach for swooning. Ate and nah, still there. It's like a half asleep in the clouds while half perfectly grounded and yes, I meditated a little while ago and drop cords so that's not it either. It's magnetism. That's what it is and I don't care to explain because someone else is on the other end so I am not alone anymore and won't be for a very long time from now but time isn't relative in the here and after. I am blessed, oh so blessed... <3 namaste="" p="">

Surrounded by Angry Ghosts

It's one thing to ignore the person who only texts late when they're drunk & horny and never early to invite you to drink.. but this ghosting thing is so hurtful, disrespectful, and damaging!! After spending a significant amount of time with a person and by that I mean simply more than one occasion, it's simply not okay to quit people like they're a job you think hasn't paid enough or you got a better offer so skip out without telling them you believe you're worth more. People who care about you will worry that you're hurt or in trouble!! People who care about you deserve a conversation; an opportunity to make a counter offer to show they appreciate you more than you thought, or to change the current state of affairs to a new understanding, a compromise if you will that acknowledges the fact that they are a person who you shared a bond with that needs to change for your own happiness but perhaps the bond will turn into a sustainable friendship in the long run instead of a disconnecting slash to an wounded and covered in blood kind person who did nothing wrong but try to find a connection.

People can change, y'all. If we keep severing each other for having a bad day and feeling week and needy while someone else exudes sexy confidence that day and we can't feel both at once so cut the lesser out.. we'll all have absolutely no one and all be so sensitive and slaughtered that no one will ever accept us because the effect is cumulative and none of us deserved to be abandoned for wanting love!!!

My Special Selfie is really actually Steiner

This was suppose to be a "self summary" on a singles site that I registered on while doing business research for an event idea I'm thinking of producing next month.. but as you can read apparently I am the reincarnation of Rudolph Steiner:

Oh dear, what can I say? I'm really special! 

Before you go deciding that I must be a total narcissist from that, maybe I meant "special" as in "special ed" or "special olympics"? Indeed, I did ride the short bus for special people in elementary school once a week to be in the program where we did brain teaser puzzles to challenge us since long division wasn't enough. Actually I suck at abstract notions as numbers greater than the amount of dollars I will ever need to manage to spend (not a lot at all..) but I am hyper aware of more real but less substantiated subjects as the collective human subconscious. This is where I aim to effect change through my art and what I am is truly an artist who relentlessly strives to (not starve) fulfill my destiny as a member of the circus of the sun!

Now just wtf do I mean by that exactly? A lot of things both physically real and ethereally pre-ordained. Now is when I start to sound really special! If you can not fathom a universe where both a God (actually most likely a Goddess since we are made in her image and she gave birth to the world) and a scientific beginning big bang simultaneously co-exist then you might as well stop right here. I don't enjoy playing the jester as words are so very faulty when it comes to truth defined to have a meaning or a means to offend and humans are so horribly designed to be judgmental as a survival instinct gone horribly wrong and mass misperception given way to monumentally mad convictions. Our brains are programmed to make an initial short as in 3-5 second assessment and then categorize as yes or no, safe or danger, friend or foe. Nothing closes the door to our infinitely more advanced brainwave capabilities quicker than our preconceived notions like who instantly deemed me an arrogant narcissist, or "special" was offensive even though it wasn't "retarded", then I admitted that my high IQ is a social hindrance, now I'm attempting to define a higher consciousness to whom I gave my life in service yet I'm sure many a Christian male tuned out at mention of "goddess" assuming I'm one of those feminists or pagan demoness. It's true. I am both but it doesn't take much intelligence to understand the deity know as God simply can not be omnipotent and labeled with a limit like gender. Also She/theM said "let there be light" ~ BANG!!!

That my most humbly open minded, dear reader, is a fact we know in our hearts. Every time it beats we feel it course through us as we our manifestations of that one light. So I am cursed to walk this earth with a torch seeking to shine into the dark recesses of human ignorance and unconsciousness and worse, intentional attempts to disconnect from the source and instead consume it. The black monster of the abyss is real in all it's myths except for the one about Lucifer but we won't get into that other than I'll leave you with the fact that Lucifer means "bringer of Light"* My notion is more readily described by Steiner in chapter 21 of The Theory of Knowledge Implicit in Goethe's World Conception:

"The object must be lifted entirely out of the sphere of chance and transferred into that of necessity. Nothing must remain in the artistically beautiful upon which the artist has not impressed his spirit. The what must be conquered by the how. The overcoming of the sense-perceptible by the spirit is the goal of art and science. Science overcomes the sense perceptible by dissolving it entirely into spirit; art does so by implanting spirit into the sense-perceptible."

💪💫😏💁💥💨

*reference ~ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucifer 

Poem: Grounded

If anyone knew how many times I've been knocked down

They'd be amazed to see me not splattered on the ground 

My heart has been hamburger served for lunch. 

But my spirit stands strong and it keeps walking on. 

All I know of my destiny is one day the earth will swallow me.  I'm only here if I breathe and it's not because I believe!

My bones have all broke from the weight of the sea.

The waves rain down, on top of me they pound. 

Your judgement is lost when found, sticks to the ground. 

Find me in the trees because this is where I am free to be. 

Let there always be never ending Light!

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Namaste. 93