Mar 8, 2014

OK Stupid

I utterly can't can't believe I'm doing this shit again... Online dating! Wtf. Took a stab at this new one I saw on the news because it kinda made sense. I somehow accidentally bumped open an email in my junk box and reopened my OK Stupid account and immediately got the flood of "Hey how you doing this evening.." messages. After dabbling around without a little it all came back to me pretty quick my experience with it oh about 4-5 years ago! Users fill out a long ass series of political, moral, and situational multiple choice questions and then choose how their "ideal partner" would answer and then rate how important it is for them to respond that way supposedly creating a match percentage, as well as friendship, and enemy likelihood where the deal breakers may lay. It's a sophisticated algorithm that in theory should work great. But then I look back on the most fulfilling, dynamic, and passionate loves of my life and realize none of them would have scored any higher than a 70% match nor less than a 10% enemy with me because it wasn't our identical views of the world that gave us chemistry. It was our differences combined with shear raw physical attraction that made it interesting! OK Cupid was/is brilliant at finding me carbon copy thinkers as me who make excellent cathartic pen pals that unfortunately gets my hopes up that I've magically found someone spectacularly special amongst this sea of coded monotony. Then it all builds up to the big first face to face meet up or "date" that instantly deflates within the first 3 min (or 3 sec) when I realize despite all romantic intentions I'm simply not attracted to them. I have particular taste! At which point I either part ways with a disappointed puppy or manage to make a really decent friend. I've noticed it's the ones who usually manage to string along a conversation somehow long enough to suggest having a fuck it why not beer that I end up being more likely to find attractive enough to at least get laid before parting ways. The truth of the matter is regardless how we may deem it shallow you just can't substitute substance for sexual chemistry.

So this other app thing goes for the absolute opposite approach and users start out with selecting one to six of their Facebook images and without having the obligation to read those awkward unrealistic bios make snap decisions based on first impression appearances whether to pass or take and mutual acceptances then make you a "match" where you're then almost instantly prompted to try and strike up an IM style conversation with what extremely limited observational info you could ascertain. Yay! The site seems to attract nothing but baseball cap wearing, cheap beer swilling, jocko frat boy types mixed with the occasional geeky granola glasses wearing Seattle bearded hipster boy that always seem to carry little excess weight hanging over the waist of their khaki shorts. Not my type even remotely! No matter how much I might be entralled with someone's brain I am purely only attracted to the tall dark and handsome cliche with the added preference of tall, *thin* and handsome with *long* dark hair. Can't help it. It is what it is. The of course I lean toward the artistical musician type in black with black boots WAY more than the baseball cap, shorts, jerseys, and tennis shoes or hiking boots variety. Men who wear sandals is a deal breaker for me. Boots, barefoot, or go home! I'm ashamed to say...

So big strike out on the online dating scene except for running into online who I've had eyes on which perhaps will serve as a wake up call that we've been looking for what's already been there.. But likely it will take a whole lot more of horrible mistakes and experiences before we concede that way. Fml

Dialogue be damned

Whenever I reflect upon my short comings, paranoid thinking due to incidents of abuse in my formative years that shattered my trust, and the...