Surviving the Sick N Twisted Fashion Show

I let myself get a little down for the last hour or so because I am once again alone. I like being around people.. I'm a very social person who's claustrophobic. Dichotomy. That's been the word of the day.. or polarity and thus paradox. Success is always tempered... but the show must go On!

I'd say I certainly felt the full spectrum of emotions while working on this event. From pure elation to total breakdown.. all at once tonight even. I've never felt so dignified and utterly humiliated, proud and humble, surrounded and alone. The show was Brilliant!! Btw... heh :)

I was a model. I did both terrible and fabulous.. I was insecure and confident, nervous and calm... Love hurts! I love the work that I do but it hurts that I'm not paid much for my time and effort. Where does the love go? It doesn't seem to come back all that much... One more time with feeling? I feel too much!

I'm gonna write way more about this event and my experience as Model Liaison.. how much was involved in the planning of it. For now I'll just say EPIC

One week later 3/7:

.. with whole lot of deep self reflection and a bit of aftermath observation from a nice eagle eyed vantage point instead of sitting poolside or teaching kiddie pool wrestling classes at the Y to the next future go go dancing girls of america... I honestly have very little to say at all for American Gothique Magazine and hypothetical production company attached because I realized a lot of been there done that and have zero interest in repeating old high school glory days! I played "Alice" my senior year (in Wonderland) and I did the yearbook staff my sophomore year for some reason but it was kinda cool how I appeared to be about the most popular girl in my whole class that year but it was only the fact that I got to know the intensely shy quiet introverted boy who'd let me hide out with him from all the other stupid shit in the darkroom where images appear and everything else dissolved into fumes that don't care... I truly understand if you haven't had a Disney Princess moment and need to know that you truly are queen of your very own snowglobe.. by all means every girl deserves that! Just don't ever play poking games with guys in your scooby clan.. I repeat NO ROCKING THE MYSTERY MOBILE swear!? Not pimp unless you're into Austin Powers b&d humiliation.. oh and never trust a pirate but duh that's a no brainer.. I sound like Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Beware the ides of March and with that I'm just gonna *poof* DISAPPEAR woo hoo for rose tinted smoke & mirrors! :P

ciao x