Organ Grinder Dance

If you want to book paid fire performing or stilt walking gigs because that IS what you want to do for a living and how you want to live...

then QUIT your day job now! when you're trying to live off of a paid gig every other week if you're lucky.. 

dance, monkey.. dance!

then tell me what it's worth to you and ALL your time spent working on establishing yourself as a business,
you put your whole soul and hope and passion into it but you can't compete with hobbyist who haven't yet committed their life to it and already have a sustainable source of income.

imagine if you built yourself an auto detail shop and financed all the painting equipment, you're currently living off of the fumes for food but the investment should eventually pay off..
then customers started bargain shopping paint jobs by joining the auto detailers and car washers fanatics club on facebook to ask if anyone would be willing to detail his ride this upcoming sunny holiday weekend and they were like "yeah, sure man! that would be awesome! I'll do it for $50 and sum luv" after cashing their $2500 bi-monthly salary check and you're past due your on your credit card bill the min of which is more than your buddy's asking while you spent all week working on throwing an auto detailing fanatic family picnic because you want to support the community even though they're driving you out of business because they think it's fun and it's cool to be seen in front of an audience of 10,000 people all weekend for $250...

you do realize they have the budget to pay industry standard wages and then some, and then a bunch, like fully squirting out their shorts! BUT you're not asking for it. if you're going to take paid gigs away from pros by asking for peanuts like a circus monkey's elephant then..

quit your day job! 

do it for a living like a professional performer if that's what you're pretending to be... 

try walking on stilts when you haven't ate food for 2 days because you're so broke and need the paycheck... now how much should it pay when your leg muscles cramp 2 hours into it and it's the only income you get to show for 2-3 weeks of doing nothing else but trying to get some work? now does $150 an hour sound pretty damn fair considering tickets are sold for $100 per person and the crowd is 10,000 people large? the staff standing around working security are getting $25 an hour which means by the end of end of walking on stilts for 10 hours they cash out the same as you...

see how talented you are at business? 

it's a privilege, huh.. being booked by somebody who pockets 6 grand profit and pays you like a janitorial temporary private contractor and they take pictures of you posing with mop buckets while they're at it! you should kinda be embarrassed, I know I'd be embarrassed if I let some used car salesman from Detroit pimp my image all over the internet earning $100 a min in advertising sales all year long while I didn't even think $100 an hour for 10 hours of walking on stilts while getting my picture taken by him without even putting my name on it for credit when non-stilt walking catalog models for Sears ask for more than that...

I'd feel like an idiot!

then to come to find my friend, the car working his ass of for me to be seen and have fun entrepreneur has turned into a starving ethiopian baby in africa because I thought a month's worth of nut nugget butter teaspoon a day rations was my post surf n turf dinner desert?!?! starving fucking babies, yo. ready to quit yet?
it's a cool life swatting off flies....

honey

“You just need to know this is the first time I’ve ever done this without looking for an exit row.

And I’m pretty sure my seat can’t float but I’ve already fallen from the sky for you,

Already said no to the parachute,

Already told my mother you curse like a sailor and you love like the war is finally over and you have just come home and you are running down the dock in the harbor and you’re screaming my name.

You’re screaming “honey”

and I’m screaming “don’t trip”

and you’re screaming “honey honey”

and I’m screaming “baby don’t fall down”

I am running for your red lips

I am running for your red heart

With my red heart

Red as a Mississippi sunset

Honey”

~ Andrea Gibson 

Words I LOVE ~

 These are a few of my favorite words:

• apotheosis 
• epiphany
• cantankerous 
• cacophony
• metaphor
• gnosis* 
• demassify*
• auger 
• effulgent
• thaumaturge* 
• triskaidekaphobia* ~ fear of number 13
• pyrophoric* 
• frenetic 
• bombastic
• bibliophile 
• vespertide* 
• cryptesthesia*
• epitome 

*interesting spellcheck says that these are incorrect but it even says that "spellcheck" is incorrect and I triple checked my spelling at the site below to be sure that I in fact am correct... so meh.

This post brought to you with the aide of my favorite and most useful website ~ http://dictionary.reference.com/ 

• facebook.com/dictionarycom
  Like us on Facebook!

Staging a Spectacle in Seattle 2015

I realized every time I've ever sat down and made an actual list of goals to achieve within a reasonable time frame, not being overly ambitious, but set it out there on paper.. I've always accomplished them! So one of my goals for this year is to stage a public improvised theatrical stunt or SPECTACLE inspired mostly by the work of NY based group Improv Everywhere.  You've probably heard of by now about the No Pants Light Rail that's happened 4 years in a row in Seattle? Well that's actually in sync with these guys as it's officially a global wide stunt/event. Here is just a tiny little taste of what their thing is all about ~

more videos available HERE!

So far I've considered the possibility of doing a "silent rave or disco", there's a whole slew of successfully tried/tested/and proven ones that the crew has done in NY and we would fully have their permission and endorsement to do.. and I just came across this idea that I absolutely LOVE also coming out of NYC and that's called ShakesBEER which combines 2 of my most favorite things in the world which is traditional Shakespeare & beer! I love how creator Ross Williams explains it here on Backstage.com ~

Might I suggest a rehearsal exercise? After every line add “Amiright?” and address it to someone in the room. “To be, or not to be, that is the question. Amiright?”

How they do it is they sell tickets in advanced so they have a controllable # of participants that probably helps sell it to bar owners but basically it's a pub crawl with a different act or scene performed at each bar. That would require a larger more dire hard committed group of helpers who not only must be as excited as me to take on this project but also talented  actors as well so this one might be ambitious at my current state of community though... 

ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!

BTW.. if you live around the PNW and you'd like to get involved on one of my projects or have any ideas or thoughts to contribute to creatively sussing out what we should do..

 PLEASE JOIN  SEATTLE SPECTACLE!

Tinder turns men into morons

The perception that Tinder is for "hook ups" seems to turn men into boys at a all you can eat ice cream fudge sundae banana split bar until they fail to notice that they have become fat gross pigs OR reverts them back into virgins not knowing a single thing of how to handle an encounter with a potential sexual partner! Here's how I handled one of the later who after carefully picking a date and planning to spend an evening with me very patiently and gentlemanly decided to text me under an hour prior to arrival asking if I am clean or not and how do I feel about condoms?!

Lxxx, if you read my little profile bit you would see that I'm not looking for hook ups here at all! No one has any business enquiring of my cleanliness when they have never even laid eyes on me in person, that shouldn't even be a concern until you're at least within projectile body fluid landing range of them otherwise it's just plain impolite.. and asking me if I mind condoms before you've scored the first kiss is equally quite presumptuous even if I were entertaining for straight hook up purposes only because a passing a picture test doesn't mean you will turn me on.. it just means I'm willing to take a closer look and see if you smell good and are capable of carrying on a conversation and hang out and chill first.. then if that goes well enough after a few hours you should be able to tell if I'm interested in kissing you and if you that much well enough and I'm obviously not trying to make the kissing stop and appear to be a willingly passionate participant in having you all up in my grill invading my personal space, breathing the same air, exchanging spit, THEN you can ask about your dick and my disease status!! Got it??